You watched it all
everything that went down
I screamed so loud
and you heard every sound
You were right there
You could have stopped it
But instead you just
Stood there and watched it
Did it excite you
To see watch him rape me
Did you think you
were so very lucky to see
The moment he tore
every bit of me apart
Destroyed what was left
of my broken heart
You assholes!
You could have
stopped whats was done
You assholes!
But you were busy
having too much fun
And I hate you now
maybe even more then him
Because I saw your faces
in the light however dim
And I didn't see anger
or even fear
You were happy to watch
him destroy someone so dear
Now I want YOU to
feel what he did
I'll let you endure
all the pain I keep hid
And all the while
I'll just stand back
now its your turn
to feel the attack
You Fucking Pussy Ass
bastered little pricks
I'll cut of your shits
and make you eat your own dicks
torture you for watching
and I'll tape it all
put it up on You Tube
so the world can watch you bawl
Author notes
love happens once in a lifetime. the difference lies in how many time you're willing to live in the time that you're alive.
A contest entry
- oogaboogashoogalooga...this is serious by Starlette.
525 points, ended December 7, 2007, 150 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - paybacks a b****h. by Lady Lust.
450 points, ended May 20, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Good
An amzing heartfelt piece. I loved the choice of words and it made my hwart hurt. It made me want to smack every single one of those assholes who just stood and watched. Im so sorry that this happened to you. I can say i personally know what you are talking about.
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wow, very emotional, great choice of words. great write!
and
on the tenth line,to see watch him rape me.
take out either see or watch.
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awww. this made me want to cry. but it is a very powerful piece of writing. it seems like you got a lot off your chest. great write.
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This was a very nice write, but aside from that, this was very sad =[ I'm sorry this has happened to you, and although it's not what I chose to write about it has happened to me. My ex gave me a pill of GHB[date rape drug] in a class of coke one night and then him and one of his friends took turns... while taping it... So I know how you feel and my deepest sympathys go out to you. Thanks for sharing it with everyone in this beautiful poem.
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this is filled with so much pain i hope you get the revenge you want
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So much power and raw emotion in this, I'm so sorry that happened to you, if indeed it did. A brilliant poem, good luck
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Very deep! I guess this has happened to someone, I hope it wasn't you. You may want to edit the line "I'll cut (I think you meant OFF) your shirts". Very good write.
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excellent poem very raw and emotional.....
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omg hunny...i'm so sorry. this is perfect. the emotion is blatant and i like that you never once stated how you felt, but the diction and the threat and the flow made it so obvious that there is so much hurt, fear, anger locked inside. thank you so much for not being afriad to let this out. it's ...i can't think of a word to describe it. I would say it's deep, but that's not enough. i would say it's beautiful, but the actions you described are nothing of the sort. it's raw...that's the word. every bit of emotion in this is steady with the words...this is great. i don't usually do this, but i'm applauding you...good luck
-angel
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Thank you for the feedback, and also thank you for the contest. I have never written about this side of what happened or my feelings towards the bystanders until ow. If I hadn't had to stop and think about what I could write about that would be real and I wouldn't hold back I never would have wrote it. So thank you for giving me reason to get this out. It feels good... or at least better maybe not good, but I guess little by little it keeps getting better. With help like your contest and the feedback I receive I'll be good again one day.
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i remember when i was raped, it took me 3 years to tell anyone and to write about it and i remember how much it hurt to relive it on my own. i was so scared and it helped so much to have someone tell me that i wasn't overreacting or being dumb. i still cringe every time i hear the word rape, but i'm not afraid so much as i used to be. i'm glad you got this chance, that's what this contest is for. i know how much damage it does to hold everything so deep inside and i just want people to feel the freedom of letting a little bit of that go. it will always be hard and it will always hurt, but it does get better and i wish you the best of luck in learning to overcome this. and it doesn't hurt that you're an amazing poet.
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If you get a chance you should try to read another poem I wrote called Gabriel. (not trying to plug) You might like to see how my story is turning out. It might make you smile!
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This is a powerful and disturbing piece. I sincerely hope this isn't real and has just been written for this contest. It's sick to know that this shit really happens and they should all be shot. This is raw and deep. You really feel the anger burning from the page. Best of luck in the contest. James.
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It is a true story. I never write about that side of what happened, but when I decided to write for the contest at like 3am it just kind of came out. Thank you for your comment. I always enjoy reading the feedback!
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