Ashen hair speckled memory
Of half truths and misdemeanors
That you left me holding
The bag, a torch
Could this have been your legacy?
The sprinkle of ash across sodden hill
Wet against fire lit to keep warm
And memories still of your steps there
Crying foul of old age
Memory slip the glare
Of never ending hill
And cursed flame early to extinguish
You'd said that the meaning
Was propagation
How true that was
Author notes
The Bukowski piece reminded me of my siblings and I spreading our father's ashes after two days of hiking in the rain. I believe old Buk tapped into something there.
A contest entry
- Bukowski I0I -- "For Jane" by truembrace.
500 points, ended May 7, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Congratulations on receiving honorable mention from this work. I love Bukowski. I teach Middle School, and managed (against the will of administrators) to introduce my eighth graders to him just last week. This Summer, they are instructed to keep a journey, as some of them will have me in ninth grade next year. In addition to recording the happenings that are kept daily, they are to write in the style of Bukowski with each entry. That'll give them the prospect of becoming true poets of the future. I am sorry for going on, and on... but your poem caused me to think of that assignment, and reading your poem is confirmation that I may have done the right thing poetically with my students. Very clever. I hope you take a place in the winning in this contest.
april nicole -
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Thanks for the great comment. You definitely did the right thing with your students. While Bukowski might be unappreciated, he had a knack for the emotionally real that is well worth nourishing in anyone.
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there is something about a poem with a strong ending that is the biggest pull into a poem for me - this poem had just that (and more of course). I was rather glued to the details in the first stanza, with knowing that your details in the rest of the piece, were going to be as vivid, that this was a great poem --
which it is.
thanks so much for entering!
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What a difference a separate stanza makes...
Thanks for the note. Yes, while the first part of this is largely from memory (i.e. it would help to know the story), the last few lines do clarify this particular man's contribution. Thanks so much for the opportunity to honor the man...
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what a wise man he must have been, to have shared with you the ONE truth of humanity: propagation. that's all we know for sure, i think. i like the sturdiness, the sureness of this write. in its entirety, this evokes something beautiful.
hope you are well.
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