SNAP.
The sound is amazingly
Satisfying
To the ears.
A soft THUMP.
As it joins its kind
In a woven maze of
Reed.
Footsteps PITTER-PATTER.
Filthy tennis shoes
Scuff the path
Dirt clouding the feet.
BANG.
Punch the dough
And roll it into
A thick crust.
CLANG.
Oven mitts clutch
A shiny, jet black pan
Inhale the prize inside.
CRUNCH.
Munching the pastry
And crunching the seeds
From the raspberry pie.
Author notes
Yeah, I know I haven't done freeverse in a while. I love raspberries! I wish it could be strawberry rhubarb The onomatopias are in caps.
p.s. onomatopias are words that describe sound.
A contest entry
- Ages 13 & Under - Scent and Plant Series 2 - Raspberry by Amunet Wolfbane.
525 points, ended May 10, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does my neglecting to the freeverse style of poetry show? Have I done my job? Did I use enough onomatopias?
Comments
-
Wondefully penned. Love the sound effects and the imagery :D I can taste the raspberries :D
-
hmmmm, you know you make it sound good, i may have to try it one day, you did a great job on this, i loved it, it was tasty, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
Adding your comment:
