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The Picture

The irregular path continues on its
crazed winding way towards goals.
Goals no longer clear as year upon
year emerges another self, newborn.

True cut pieces expertly jigged
are now worn crushed and broken.
Gone the smoothly rounded edges
forming the picture of promised

fidelity and cognitive certainty.
My future once clear, like the

eyes of the old, is now dulled

with severe cataracted affliction.

Through this dimness, straining, a

picture appears. It struggles and

buckles and reveals tempting, ripe

for picking opportunity. Slowly

 

now i begin to see through the

filmy emnio clearly, that what

was once conjoined, (me a piece

of you, you a piece of me), now

 

floats free and may one day afix

to those who follow more closely,

the picture. And when my time for

rebirth is no more and the puzzle

 

is complete there'll be no missing

piece and i won't have to say...

 

"i wish ...... "




 

Author notes

This is about change,(rebirth) accepting it and moving on. No regrets..... picture with a jigsaw path, big apples and naked women was my prompt!

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Griswold silver member
    June 4, 2007

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    Nicely done, i enjoyed it and a total rebirth is sometimes what we need to get our lives on track within the grand scheme of things...Scott


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    April 29, 2007

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    I'm not sure what's going on with the set up of the stanza's here, or if it was intentional but I do love the poem. My old schools principal always told me "No regrets. Work hard and have no regrets." And my new schools principal says some really strange things sometimes, but also that change isn't necessarily a bad thing, that usually it's just what's needed.

    Great piece, I love the picture and the ending line was just weird though Contest prompts hey


  • jo-el
    April 24, 2007

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    excellent through and through. 3rd stanza exceptional
    as well as 6th and 7th. very well expressed. imagery used should be familiar to most as most are familiar with the dynamics of solving puzzles. most excellent and intelligent write


    • swanridur
      April 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your comment and lovely applause I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it........SR


  • Lily of the Valley
    April 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Reading this was very inspiring and had a quiet calmness and serenity about it, finding the inner self, what was and what would be. I was stumped by the last line though and felt it was written in a different manner to the rest of the poem. Of course this is just my opinion and I wasn't sure if the last line was meant to be funny or something different. Only you know that but I thought this was an excellently written piece of poetry.

    PS - Check out the Raven contest (20,000 points and cash) coming to Allpoetry this June.


    • swanridur
      April 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your encouraging comment.......I wanted the last line to sum up regret in a way that was punchy and not too obscure just a metaphore really for anything you may regret not doing at the end of your life. I will look out for the contest......thanks again SR


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    April 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    is complete they'll be no missing
    piece and I won't have to say...
    "I wish I'd shagged more women".

    This is very deep work bringing a kind of the inteprtation of the life through the means of some universal concept... Indeed very thought provoking and dive is here bringing the truth of the unseen just on the forefront of the muse of the readers..I am impressed to see the material brought by you here..






    • swanridur
      April 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment and reading of my writing much appreciated my friend x


  • MissAnonymous
    April 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful wording and prasing! great write and good luck in your contest!


  • PastelMoons gold member
    April 20, 2007

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    Jigsaw path, big apples and naked women ..a strange combination..lol ..That shows real talent in pulling this together..This is extrememly enjoyable and well written..With many possibilites for my imagination to explore..Loved it! ~Pastel


  • Touchof1der silver member
    April 19, 2007

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    I found this to be thoroughly enjoyable. It gave my mind pause to woander and form thoughts along the way. A thinking poem, yet not entirely, there are also tinges of emotion as well. Nicely done. Good luck in your contest.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • animated lies
    April 19, 2007

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    Beautiful use of words. Although I felt as if the poem's flow was hindered due to the way you seperated the stanzas. I'm sure if you divided them into a different arrangement (other than all 4 line stanzas) then it will not cause further damage, but will make it flow much better. Also "straining" has a typo. Overall its very nicely inked and portrayed, other than those things I have mentioned.

  • Melody Of Love
    April 19, 2007

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    Interesting

    Live life with no regrets -- enjoy without hurt, walk a path of pleasure without stones. Only if this could ever happen what joys life would hold, but alas we must feel the stones and the hurt and yes even have a regret or two. Good job expressing yourself in this poem. DJ


  • poetreeluvr
    April 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I definitely enjoyed this...to me more of a thinking piece. But, still very well done. Thank you for the entry and good luck in the contest

1 - 14 of 14