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"Faith train"

 

It seems the tracks have ended, but really just begun,

for they lead you to a land, that sets beyond the sun.

The tracks travel passed the island of amazing grace,

only to leave your pain in the heart of a higher place.

.

"Faith" is it's ticket! You just believe & climb aboard,

when the rides over, eternity will be the just reward.

Let the amber light of the sun with it's glitter of gray,

open up your imagination to gentley take you away!

.

The water won't be wet and doubt don't reside here,

as the tide begins to part making faith perfectly clear.

The train tracks "Carry souls" to many foriegn lands,

leaving unforgettable memories ...on peaceful sands.

.

You will return again with a different point of view,

when asking questions anwsers will be there for you.

So trust in the Lord take a ride across the setting sun,

you'll feel a change in life, the rides only just begun. 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Hebz
    June 16, 2007

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    WOW!!

    Excllent imagery, rhyme & flow as well...& excellent choice of the pic & the background...

    Thanks for entering my contest..& Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • Viyanna Rosemarie 2
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i am trying to not cry. thank you so much. i think you just wrote the thing i needed to read. i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie

  • mysty rain
    April 30, 2007

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    You have penned a wonderful masterpiece with this. I liked the use of a train ride leading us to eternity and the bliss beyond. Great job. Keep up the good work. Mysty Rain


  • troyias silver member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Lions Have Pride

    Gary this is an amazing write. The flow and rythem are beautiful and the wor choice perfect. this is an amazing write. the message clear and precise. Great Jog.

    *Go with God* my friend,

    Valerie


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!

    A fantastic journey, I hope my own journey will be like this, my faith will be my ticket...

    You've excelled yourself with this poem, it delivers a wonderful message and gives a feeling of hope and accomplishment...A lot of thought has gone into it, you are skilled at expressing your thoughts poetically and always leaves me in awe...

    Great rhyme and flow...I love the picture, it compliments this piece perfectly

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    Love and smiles...
    ~Lilac


  • trista gold member
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!!

    What a wonderful message, and written with a quiet confidnece and beautiful rhyming. The longer lines seemed to lend themselves to reading the piece slowly, giving me a chance to really let the words soak in. Excellent in every way!

    Best wishes,
    ~J.


  • Cutie4eva
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!
    Wow, this is a very nicely written peice. It flows so nicely from start to end and I like the couplets in the peice. Well done.
    xAngelx4xLife


  • Desire gold member
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Lions Have Pride!!

    Powerful verse of Inspiration You have penned my Friend
    Love this and the words You have brought forth to Lift Spirits~
    Empowering images
    Thank You for sharing this Gift!

    Many blessings to You and
    best wishes in the contest!
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • pixxiepoetess
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!!

    You've got a super message in these lines, and you've done a great job with the rhyme to boot! The lines flow so well into each other that the whole poem just rolls off the tongue. Fabulous job on this inspirational piece. >pixxie<


  • FisherCat
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Lions Have Pride!!

    What an amazing read. This has a great message in it!!
    I tell you I couldn't pick out a favorite verse in this one! I loved the whole damn thing! Don't know if they have finished judgeing yet, but I hope you do really well in the contest, a piece of this magnitude deserves something!! Thanks for sharing. Keep that pen flowing.


  • StarEyes
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Lions Have Pride!!

    What a great read this one is!!! I love the peaceful feeling this leaves one! you did a great job on it!!

    But I have to say in this line

    "when asking questions anwsers will be their for you."

    You used the wrong "their"

    It should be

    "when asking questions anwsers will be there for you."

    That is only thing I found to complain about in this wonderful read. LOL. Great job!!!!!





  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 29, 2007

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    Lions Have Pride!

    I liked this write. The rhyme scheme was simple but very well done. Nothing forced nor pushed. I liked the imagery you used within each line and how you could almost see what was going on.


  • ShelleyA gold member
    April 29, 2007
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    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!

    A beautiful write and message. Lovely imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Very good word choice, alliteration and assonance. Nice metaphor. Your faith shines beautifully in this piece. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.


  • Star Shine
    April 29, 2007

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    LIONS HAVE PRIDE!

    I love the line "you will return again with a different point of view". Beautiful and inspiring, what a light and lifting message of faith and hope. Thanks for sharing. God Bless.


  • jayson48 silver member
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lions have pride

    Now i like thought provoking poems
    and this is very good.

    Thank you for such a wonderful poem
    any lion would be proud of this
    poem.. great job


  • Closet Poet
    April 29, 2007
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    beautiful. in a word.

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    April 23, 2007

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    This is a wonderful piece, you have created a wonderful story and seom beautiful imagery in this piece, great job

    Thanks for taking the time to enter, I wish you the very best of luck

    Karen


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 21, 2007
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    This tore at my heartstrings for I got on that Faith train a few 24 hours ago and have not gotten off yet, every day springs new awareness, tests, life experiences but my Faith train ploughs ahead, full steam ahead..Excellent wisdom here and the metaphor is a masterpiece well crafted..love it!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    April 18, 2007
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    "Faith" is it's ticket, just believe and climb on aboard,

    when the rides finished "Eternity" will be the reward.

    Let the amber light of the sun with it's glitter of gray,

    open up your imagination to gentley take you away!


    i love this stanza right here, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • ebaby
    April 18, 2007
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    oops I forgot this good luck dear...

  • ebaby
    April 18, 2007

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    this is so beautiful the page, the poem and the picture. You did a great job on this one Gary my favorite line....Faith" is it's ticket, just believe and climb on aboard,

    when the rides finished "Eternity" will be the reward

  • hazydreams
    April 18, 2007

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    Very beautiful write you wrote here. The picture is breath taking. You did a wonderful with this write. Good luck in the contest. I hope you win.


  • oldmanriver1942
    April 18, 2007
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    Fantastic Write

    everything in this piece or art work is just perfect..three Applauds


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 18, 2007

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    An awesome poem you have penned here - great interpretation of the picture- really liked the rhythm and rhyme, flow of this piece. Wonderful thoughts, great metaphor used throughout. Just another one of your great poems.


  • M0ofi3
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A Fresh Look...

    ...at an old concept of the Faith Train. You have some compelling allegories here to the Christian faith. You also raise some intriguing ideas of faith changing one's perspective. You may have something there.

    I especially like the idea of doubt not residing with faith.

    Much of this could allude to the hereafter. Our life will barely begin in eternity with God. Somehow I think my perspective will greatly change there.

    It's interesting to note that the Bible says faith is a gift of God. Goes with my belief that all things will be of Him. We'll have nothing to brag about there.

    Good thing, too. Heaven would be boring with a bunch of braggarts.

    I enjoyed this, brother! This is a really smooth write.


  • darell
    April 18, 2007

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    Fascinating!

    This was a very enjoyable read.
    It had creativity and imagination.
    The words were very meaningful and enlightening.
    It was a spiritual journey into the beyond and back.
    You did a very nice job here


  • B Chandler
    April 18, 2007

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    I swear Gary, your mind has been on a roll with writes lately while mine sits in stagnant bliss. Keep penning


  • Spiritvision angel
    April 18, 2007

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    Inspirational write that holds the imagery of a golden train on the ride to the promised land.
    "faitn is it's ticket, just believe and climb on aboard, when the rides finished "eternity" will be the reward. Wonderful thought..

1 - 28 of 28