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Because of You

I'm all alone
All alone again
No one here to hold me
No lover no friend

As I sit alone
I talk myself through it
I know this will work
I know that I can do it

As I grab the gun
And put it to my head
With the tears streaming down
I remember what you said

You said you'll always be here
But where are you right now
Just remember this one thing
As you ask yourself how

My pain and all my misery
It was created by you
Yes you are bullet that killed me
The reason my life I lived is through

A contest entry

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Comments


  • WhenWillsCollide
    May 12, 2007

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    very nice! this piece was short and simple, but got alot of emotion through the small text with very small effort- a very large feat!
    firstly, I would like to say taht intro was very creative and certainly introduced a certain feel to the poem. I can feel the emotion and really got into the poem trying to get some imagery.
    secondly, I REALLY like the end:

    "My pain and all my misery
    It was created by you
    Yes you are bullet that killed me
    The reason my life I lived is through"

    this is REALLY good. its a metaphor- a good one at that- and it flows very nicely. IT EVEN RHYMES! this is the final connecter between how you feel and how you make other people feel with your words. it does a great job of suming up the poem...
    nice work!