Charles, you bastard,
you have sucked me dry.
I gave you the raw edge
of my feelings-- my
punctured heart, my
wounded body, was
your playground.
And now you write
and whine about
the "tigers"
that will not go away.
Hours of love?
They were hours of lust,
drink-fuelled and hard.
Charles, you bastard,
no longer will you
make me cry.
Let the tigers consume you
as they once consumed me.
I no longer care
if you live or die.
A contest entry
- Bukowski I0I -- "For Jane" by truembrace.
500 points, ended May 7, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Submissions for Poetry Magazine. by Norman Crabtree.
745 points, ended November 11, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bukowski Inspired by Emmjay.
1175 points, ended April 27, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I think the tigers were gentle, compared to the numerous mangey black dogs which used to haunt, lols.
A nice write, sort of 'stick it up you Buk'
The tone is strong, though I'm missing the harsh sarcastic humour which I think he would have deserved (and loved).
It certainly has a Bukowski inspiration
Good stuff!
Thanks for entering and best wishes in. the contest.
Sincerely -Emmjay
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Sounds bukowskiesque! got the killer spirt.
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Thank you for entering my contest!
haha, i just laughed when i read this, in a good way... it wasn't a laughable poem by any means. especially the first line!
Good luck in the future. -
Stong voice comes from this poem you tell em I wish you the best of luck in this contest Submissions for Poetry Magazine. by Norman Crabtree. 550 points, ends November 10, 47 entries And your poem is great
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This is strong in voice and tone. I like the direction you took the contest theme.
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quite the dear charles letter in this one.
the vibe of this piece in general certainly had some of him in it. it was edgy to say the least with the antagonism towards Buk himself. that pulled this poem into a very different category than most of the others.
the last two lines -- those are harder for me to perceive as a solid ending than most (as much as they fit the tone of the piece). It's just one of those things that I can't imagine wishing (Yes, I know it's fiction). Still, those two lines - I wonder if they wrap the poem up as well as some other verses may have. (I know it's just my preference in avoiding morbid endings).
the poem overall - so well written and a solid entry. thanks so much for entering into the contest.
Kim
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Buck being enjoyable to read, and yet it's hard to read alot of him in a short time, you have done well to give tribute, emulate if you will his stylings and talent, and the feminine tone taken here is also well done. You have captured that essence of dirty low income apartment language, which is what I always think of when I read his work. Great work and good luck.
jim
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grrr
hehe, lovely bill, a very well written piece indeed, well done and good luck in the contest pal,
Alex.
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