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A Tail of Darkness

Have I awaken in the middle of the night?
If it is morning, what has happened to the light?

Darkness is all around me, I cannot see
What in the world has happened to me?

It feels like a huge weight is pressing upon my chest
I struggle for air,  I have to fight to catch my breath

Last night so normal, I went to sleep in my bed
There was no warning or reason to dread

Something very bad is happening to me 
I’m unable to move or get myself free   

Will I to die alone in this darkness I cannot tell
I know I am not feeling very well 

This is the worst thing I’ve ever known 
No one can even hear my smothered moans 

Have I already died and gone to hell?
Speaking of which what is that awful smell

Whatever is on top of me is very warm and fury
My heart is racing and my mind is blurry 

What has invaded my room and my bed?
Callously and carelessly nesting upon my head 

Cutting off the very air I breathe
Ignoring my muffled stifled pleas

I finally realize what has taken place,
That STUPID dog of mine, is sitting on my face! 

Author notes

This was my first attempt at a dark story of pain, which obviously didn't work.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

  • MDavid
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Your too kind. Really, when I read your poem, it made me think about stuff and I figured I try, but then as I was writing I remember when this happened to me, I was in high school then, and of course I dragged it out some. lol

    Now write some more so you can give me more ideas. Ha Ha


  • sodancewithsoda
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    HAHA! Woot, Mark, thanks for this! As I told you in the IMs, I am deeply flattered and touched that you got inspired.. ^_^ I have never inspired anyone, I believe.. and... back to YOUR poem

    I love how you made this! I believe you set a better mood, had a MUCH better rhyme.. and wah, reading it is poetic and it also has this "story" feel to it (I could imagine everything happen as I read each word, as I went about each line ^_^) The twist at the near end also had me smiling.. a perfect way to end a nightmare is to be woken up by the one you love even if it's a dog!!!! woot! *huggles her pets*

    Thanks for sharing this!!! you've done a better job than I did, I believe

  • S-Diana
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This one was really good. I like the ending i never though that it will be your dog..but it was a good surprise..very well written...everything flowed so nicely here...good rhyming....But some spelling mistakes though..

    "Something very bad is happening to me
    I’m unable to more or get myself free"

    I think you meant move here...

    In all it was too good I really enjoyed reading it

    • MDavid
      April 18, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, esp. for catching the error and actually there were a few more. I must be tired. Generally don't do the poetry but write humor at Stories Write. Thanks again.