Stereotypes hold tight
To their comfortable niches
In this fatigued town
Be it snow or sun
Nothing lifts the
Grey of imminent decay
Crumbling chunks
Of ‘before’ endure
Bold in their datedness
Asleep but anxious
The townspeople tread
Wearing thin expectations
I would weep
But for the flood
Of indifference
Author notes
What it's like being stuck in a small, dying town.
Contest: Option #4
A contest entry
- Partners In Crime Group Contest Enter If You Dare!! by Partners In Crime.
525 points, ended May 15, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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oooh I like this a lot. I can totally relate having grown up in a small town. You write with such beauty. I love it. Good write!
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Oh I know about this only too well.
where everyone knows everyone.
but I guess that's life in a small town!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Deep!
I could see the poem was about being stuck, seeing the same old (literally) faces all over. Where I come from, neighbours and family who came visiting, never bothered calling in front, or even knocking the door before entering. That was annoying, but what drove me crazy was that nobody seemed to see that this bothered me. The title, Stag.nation, makes me think of a smaller town somewhere "up north", just like where I come from. No wonder I now live as far south, and as far away as possible without leaving the country. I wrote in my poem Driftwood how I have moved many times in my life, and finally, I feel found the best place to live... FAR from "home". You get my applause, for your great poem!
Jim
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Oh i understand
I lived in a small town called Balmorhea Texas and it was tiny and the ignorance was unbelievable.There was no such thing as privacy.
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Beautifully penned!! The picture that u have brought out here is absolutely stunning!! The imagery and the words usagee...aha..I am impressed completely!! Great work here!!
Good luck!
preets
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I grew up in a small town in southern Oregon. I love small towns, but I also deplore some of the day to day gossip and problems which make their way from one to another... whoever will listen and pass them on, the message suffering a little more with each interpretation.
Good job with this, Liz. very poeticly written.
Good luck in the contest.
Dee
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I live in a small town but it must not be as small as yours, I like the poetic way in which this is written. Best wishes in the contest and in all you do
Dove
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Yep it must be like that indeed.I lived in one too and some day's I felt like choking there....
But that was just me..I know a lot of people were very happy living there...
Good luck to you in this contest
XXJeannette
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Thank you
Well done on this piece. I liked this very much. Thank you so much for your entry and good luck.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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Very good.
I'd say "I would weep if I weren't drowning in the flood of indifference", but that's only my take on it. In any case you've done well here, and that's the main thing.
Good luck with your writing in future.
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Could of been stronger. I have over time seen many little towns wane. Your write is okay, Maybe you should take a second look and try to put more emotion in your words.
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So many small communities are facing this all over the country - changes taking place, made by younger beings who have different agendas than the older generations. Sad to see, but not sure what can be done to reverse this trend. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand how you feel.
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I have watched the town I grew up in wax and wan over the last several decades. It is truly sad to know that what you grew up with is gone. Familiar landmarks, old friends, and memories of my youth are forever gone, fading along with the constructions of strip-mall convenience.
Structure wise, this is not as strong as it could be. Punctuation would go a long way towards helping the reader understand this. Still, it does have its moments.
Well wishes in the contest.
Thank you for sharing.
rous -
I really liked this one. ALthough the subject matter is undoubtendly sad it has a real depth of quality. Well done.
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it really is a shame that many small towns are facing exactly the fate that you are writing about. The small business man has to close the doors for he can not compete with the likes of the big chains in not so distant cities <----and those influences invade small towns as well nowadays. We just over-romantacize such places and we do not look at what lies behind the curtains of the small houses
. Best wishes in the contest,
reenie
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awesome write..I really like the flow of this..
Perhaps... Death of a small town...for a title..?
Peace
~M~
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"Imminent Decay" or "Fatigued Town" or maybe "Small Town Small Talk", I think they all work...your choice, nice poem, thanks for sharing
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