empty thunder bays
& the drum's engine
is but a burnt patch
the stretched sky passes
with the hanging rain-cloud
& dives into the seventh sea
i wish i were a poet
the inventor of paint
to camouflage the dirty
& devious
instead
i rust inside
with the empty thunder
& the blood thin water
of war
my bellie shone
at five o'clock
when
the doom-stricken clock
struck dumb
A contest entry
- The Scribe - One Day Contest by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended April 18, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
sighs...
you are an excellent poet, and one that I will have to make sure to read much more often.
Excellent!
-
You are..you are indeed, one of those great poets that scribes powerful poetry aout life and its many nuances...you are very much a favorite of mine and I wish to be you when I grow up.
-
You are a poet, Muddy and this write demonstrates why. I can not imagine you rusting inside because your poetic engine is so well oiled. Wonderful metaphorical piece of writing.
~ Nicolette
-
Well done this masteroiece flowed to a fantastic image of the scribe and his thoughts. I loved this:
"the doom-stricken clock
struck dumb"
It made me think; wonderful my friend!
Love,
Amera
-
"i wish i were a poet
the inventor of paint
to camouflage the dirty
& devious"
You WISH?!? 
Too late, dear Scribe...you surpassed merely being a Poet a lonnnnnnnng time ago...
Man, I'm glad I wrote & posted mine before I read yours, or I mighta had to chicken out...
Grand penning, my Friend...Good luck in Carol's contest, Sweetness...
Wanderer
-
If you wish you were a poet..I'm doomed..lol.
Excellent penning hon, I mean that.
"my bellie shone
at five o'clock
when
the doom-stricken clock
struck dumb"
shite, that's good.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
