Love
Gentle
Innocent
We two are one
United are we
For always and forever
One in all we endeavor
Together as one
Now two are one
Forever
Lasting
Love
Author notes
12 lines with ( 1 ) break between
each stanza, a total of ( 2 ) breaks,
and a total of ( 3 ) stanzas.
The two ( 7 ) syllable lines, must use *end* Rhyme.
Syllable count is:
1-2-3-4
break
5-7-7-5
break
4-3-2-1
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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BREATH TAKING
This is just beautiful my sister, so well writen and filled with love with the oneness of your mate and the closeness that only love can bring, just love this beautiful background, I say this is a winner hands down.
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Thanks so much for your wonderful words of encouragement. I am so glad you enjoyed the piece.
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spirit, This is a lovely form you have used and I will have to come back for another look at it. Love is always a wonderful subject and your words were filled with vivid imagery as they floated from the page to my mind's eye. I want to thank you for sharing this wonderful piece and the artwork that went along with it. The background is glorious as well. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce
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Thanks so much for your wonderful words. I am so glad you enjoyed the piece as well.
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Very Pretty Entry ~
In most cases I would deduct points
for separating your stanzas
so far apart....but because you placed the
roses there for eye appeal, I will not deduct much for that...
....only .3 pts....
However....
1st stanza..last line...and last stanza 1st line...
are much too common in thought with the
Title....even if that was your theme ....and therfore I must
deduct 1.5 pts. for that ~
You 2nd stanza is lovely in form and message,
but just a bit choppy....but not that bad
...so another .3 pts deducted for that ~
The best of luck to you with all these
wonderful entries in this contest ~
Bear ~
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So beautiful!! I like the simplicity. The background is like a piece of art. Wonderfully matched with the poem. Good job, here.
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that is so good omg i ish i was as goog as you
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This is beautiful... wow... I love this a lot! An amazing write... so short... but deep and so loving! Rock on! xoxo Meg
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IT TOUCHED ME TO THE VERY SOUL
GOOD SWEETPOETRY IS OUT THERE LIKE A ROSE, THERE ARE A LOT OF THORNS YOU HAVE TO DODGE TO FIND THE BEAUTY OU ARE LOOKING FOR. -
IT TOUCHED ME TO THE VERY SOUL
GOOD SWEETPOETRY IS OUT THERE LIKE A ROSE, THERE ARE A LOT OF THORNS YOU HAVE TO DODGE TO FIND THE BEAUTY OU ARE LOOKING FOR. -
alright
This poem, I felt, had a strong opening because of the straightforward display of the poems intention in expressing the emotion, but I could not help but feel that the second body was a redundantly forced and the ending just sort of piddled out. I think it would've been better as a strong four line short poem. -
Beautiful
Very romantic. I love this new form by Arkbear. You have created a beautiful love poem. The formatting is also beautiful.
Well done poet!
- joanne
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*sigh, where few words can say so much in this form, just beautiful and a pleasure to read for it made me smile
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Very Nice
Your title and theme work well together. I enjoyed how you used "Love" and "United" to begin each section; then leading into "Now two are one". This justifies the repetition and clearly displays how the writer feels. Fantastic -
Very Unique....impressive lay-out ~
Thank you so much for your entry ~
I will review your entry for certain criteria
expected from this contest ~
If you do not hear back from me within
12 hours of the contest deadline, you
should not have anything to worry about,
as long as EVERYTHING in the
RULES have been followed ~
I will review syllable count many times,
AND, if there is/are any line/s missing a syllable/s,
I will let you know only ONCE!
I am looking forward to reviewing your entry ~
However, Judging will NOT take place until
closing of this contest, therefore,
I will TRY not to read the Theme
or Storyline until that time.....however,
.....sometimes I get tempted to break
my own rules and take a peek ~
SMILE...God loves YOU!
The best of luck to you in this contest!
Sincerely,
Bear ~
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