she was an undiscovered poet
and a nightly graveyard walker.
she wore her heart on her sleeve
and was never much of a talker.
she prefered silence over words
and her writing over all.
the silence kept her thinking
and her writing cushioned her fall.
she wrote her pain onto paper
and let it out for the world to see.
she didn't seek for attention
but that is what had come to be.
she never could laugh with meaning
and could never truly smile
but she was one hell of a faker
since noone noticed after a while.
she was nothing more than another poet
who walked the nightly streets.
she looked for approval by all
while she hid secrets under her sheets.
she hid it deep from the world
and she kept her silence to herself.
her potential and her meaningful smile
shall sit unoticed upon her shelf.
A contest entry
- Best of the Best by Sapphire Rose.
600 points, ended May 21, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite " SPECIAL" by wingsofgold25.
450 points, ended May 17, 2007, 123 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rounds with AngieMarie. ROUND ONE!! PREWRITES! All welcome!!! by Angierie.
450 points, ended May 8, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best!!! by KnightOfTheRose.
425 points, ended May 25, 2007, 135 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best of the Best by Excul.
800 points, ended May 20, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites---------And Quick!!! by Hebz.
425 points, ended June 16, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Timeless Wisdom.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 261 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ROUND 1; Perfect Prewrites by They Say Shannon.
450 points, ended September 17, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This is your contest not mine, no restriction what so ever. by nerd42189.
550 points, ended October 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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i like this piece so subtle but yet powerful and truthful i think thanks for entering my very first contest and best of luck
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AWSOME!!!
holy crap! did you just dive into my mind without me knowing or something?! that's EXACTLY how i was most of my life until i was (litteraly) forced to put in my work into a (now dead) school literary magazine. this poem still explains me to this day to a point. holy crap, did you just dive into my subconscience or something? from what it sounds like you were in my mind...
very well written and very awsome flow.
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Oh wow, thank you very much.
:]
I'm glad someone else here had my feelings as well. Thank you again.
[take.care]
<3
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I'm sorry, but I no longer have time to comment all entries because I have recieved so many.
So I am only commenting the ones that have followed my rules.
Unfortunately yours didn't.
I really appreciate you taking the time to enter but it's going to have to be DQ'd. :/
Good luck in your writing!
<3 -
Amazing!!
Very excellent write, so expressive..Love it alot..
Thanks for entering my contest & best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
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Thank you so much!
x.
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Very nicely written I like it. Good Luck in the Contest
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nicely written and really great...good luck in the contest!
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This is a very good write, there is a plethora of emotion as you read, loneliness, self isolation, desolation etc. The rhyme flows smoothly and does hold the attention well. It was apoem I could relate to, I have put on a fake smile for the world many a time. The title fits the theme of the poem wonderfully, there is the silence of the world around the woman but also her own silence and secrets. A small suggestion, the line "and her writing steared her fall" could maybe instead be "and her writing cushioned her fall" or perhaps "and her writing staved the fall" it just sounds a little odd saying steered. Over all i enjoyed your poem very much. Good luck in the contest. K
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Thank you very much. I'll deffinately switch up that line, thanks for suggesting that.
x Julie -
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No problem you are very welcome It really is a wonderful poem.K
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Wonderful Job!!
First entered and so far the rest have a tough poem to live up to!
Thanks so much for entering!!
Angie -
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Thank you very much
x Julie
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This is good. I liked the ending a lot.
My favorite lines:
"she never could laugh with meaning
and could never truly smile
but she was one hell of a faker"
Thank you for entering,
Best of luck! -
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Thank you very much!
x Julie -
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You're welcome
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I loved this poem I liked the part where you said...
she never could laugh with meaning
and could never truly smile
but she was one hell of a faker
since noone noticed after a while
That describes me, cause i never could laugh or truly smile either, so I know where you're coming from
Just like the title silence is sometimes the key. I loved it....
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Very good!
The way you described her walking through the graveyard somehow made me imagine an 18th century girl (?)
The sorrow in her emotional 'loss' is deep and apparent in your words. Brilliant
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Ahh, an 18th century girl..that I hadn't thought of. This was based off of me, but now that you say that, I can picture it. Thank you very much for the nice comment
xx Julie
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Y'know, this could almost describe me to a T, except that would be the me of three years ago. Now I'm much more into the whole laughing business and don't write nearly as much as I used to. Should really get back into that...
Anyway, I actually enjoyed this piece. Did find a few grammatic things though. "Truely" is actually spelled "Truly". And you don't need all those commas after every other line. If you actually read them, you'll find out that should you read it aloud, you don't pause after every other line. Just a lil thing I noticed, nothing much. Otherwise I liked it.
Sweetest of dreams! ~D -
This sounds really cool. Great rhyming. Best of luck.
~Oka/KC -
this was a really powerful write..it flowed really well and was powerful as well..it was a great write keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest.
XTashaX -
I like this, a lot, and no matter how many times i read it, it's the first two lines that stand out the most to me "she was an undiscovered poet,
and a nightly graveyard walker". That is great because it captivates the reader right from the start, and you maintain that right to the end. Brilliant write, good luck in the contest.
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Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it
xx Julie
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This remind me alot of myself. I just love this poem, I can't help but to read it over and over. Not because it reminds me of me but because of who well written it is. Keep up the amazing work
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Thank you very much! I love when people can't help but read one of my poems more than once.
<3xx -
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Well you have an amzing talent for writting, I just couldn't help but read this poem more then once
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thank you!
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You're quite welcome
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I like this poem.
I used to know a girl just like this.
Keep up the great work, take care, and keep on writing!
♥
~Princess of Shadows~ -
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Thank you
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yeah, i kinda got the "wasted talent" vibe from this poem as well. i enjoy the rythem as well. you always miss 100% of the shots you don't take - but more blatently put, the British SAS (Special Air Service - basically commandos) motto: "Who Dares, Wins"
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"who dares, wins"..i like that. haha. thanks.
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This is so lovely... the first verse reminds me of some of Nick Cave's more ingenius lyrics.
I'm not sure if this was your intention, but I often think about wasted talent... all the music, art and poetry that's been destroyed or supressed so that no one will ever see it.
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Hrm, well it wasn't really my intention to do so, but thank you very much.
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