taking pieces of his ribcage and pounding them into the ground
just to help keep the rest of us on track
A contest entry
- Give Me A Two-Liner by PrettyRagDoll.
600 points, ended May 19, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I can't say I fully comprehended the meaning of this write, but it was very interesting. You managed to get a vivid image across through so few words. Even if I don't get the message, I do feel the powerful emotions behind your words
-BabyBear -
it was only two line but very powerful I like the image that you used with him taking a peice from his rib cage. I also like how you said it was to keep the rest of us on track. Nice Work. I Wish you luck.
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Now that's a sacrificial task master.
Wonderfully succinct.
Good luck,
Buddy
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lol- he sounds like a gym teacher or a strict father who is very buff and eats screws for breakfast, children for lunch, and elephants for dinner.
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wow....just...wow. this defies all words i could say. amazing.
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oooo pretty!!! very graphic and caring! *smiles*
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