Seemingly innocent,
Sweet as pie.
Sugary and syrupy,
Abundantly kind.
Mouthwatering tenderness,
Causing others to ache with want.
She's cool and calm,
On the outside.
Hot and fiery,
Burning within.
One taste is not enough,
A touch will burn you.
Sear you to your core,
Marking you with her name.
Just once and you're stuck,
Always wanting more.
Aching to consume her,
Wanting without relief.
Relentless fire,
Overpowering flames.
No way out,
She'll trap you.
Is she as pure as she looks?
The Angel she seems?
Her halo shines,
With a red heat.
Sultry and decadent,
Too much at once.
She'll overcome you,
Wrap you in her flames.
The whiter the heat,
The hotter she burns.
It's not white innocence,
This aura she carries.
It's the ashes of those,
That she's seared with her touch.
Is she an Angel,
Innocent and sweet?
Her beauty is deceitful,
She'll trick you easily.
Don't fall for her allure,
You'll surely get burned.
Nothing innocent here,
She's no Angel.
Author notes
Option C Entry #2
A contest entry
- In Your Eyes by ChildeOfChaos.
900 points, ended April 19, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Buffet Of Options by JeannieD Hunter.
600 points, ended May 22, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by HerbalGoat.
456 points, ended May 24, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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vrey creative in terms of theme and purpose. I feel that it may be overlooked by other poets only because of your punctuation use. It is okay to break up lines and not use puctuation when doing so. Most punctuation is used to help guide the reader, slow the reader down, or there because grammatically it is supposed to be there, however, after every single line, it is overwhelming, and not just to the eye. My suggestion is that you just look over this again wtih punctuation in mind. This is a very well written poem otherwise.
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Very creative way to say you can't judge a book by its cover. Your short lines are very effective. Great imagery and your subject is very well presented. Thanks for this entry and good luck.
Jeannie
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Great write, I really like the last two lines.
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