Her life is nothing but the most tragic requiem
Seething underneath your eyelids like a cloud of rose petals
Having nothing to do with your wonderland dreaming
She could never be what you want her to be
Her lips [oh-so like morphine aesthetic] are cracked and aging
From your insanely-sour kisses;
her eyes tainted with the brittle lies you portray
Craving nothing but the most intimate of dreams, she does not know
How to love without tangling herself in a rainbow pebbled with bruises
Your promises of a perfect plastic face
Raise her spirits to the highest extent
Blinding all those random strangers with her eyes like dark pools of ink
She takes her last breath and clutches a solitary flower to her fractured chest
Author notes
I chose option #7, the word bank.
I hope i have at least 10 words in it...
A contest entry
- ♥ -|B|r|o|k|e|n|-{W.o.r.l.d} [go look-lots of options] by Dead Star--x.
525 points, ended May 2, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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OMG
again.. you light up more than the neon signs of hollywood;;
beautiful;
baby;
xoxo
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this is really good. You did a really good job with the word bank :] i love the words that you used that were in the bank also, they arent your overused dirty pretty words, they have a different taste to them. really interesting piece :]]
♥
coley -
Wow, this was fucking brilliant. I loved the use of words and the hurt and beauty you portrayed. It was just amazing. Great job.
~Slip~
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this is am amazing poem ... great mental image.. freat flow and a powerful poeam all around.
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hmmm.. yummy i luv this the lines are dripping in dirty pretty acid and have me t-t-t-rippin. ♥ thanx for entering & good luck!
PrettyX -
Awh that was prefection.
xoxo,
your dumpster doll
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thnx lovely!
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From your insanely-sour kisses; her eyes tainted
With the brittle lies you portray
Craving nothing but the most intimate of dreams, she does not know
How to love without tangling herself in a rainbow pebbled with bruises
Your promises of a perfect plastic face
Raise her spirits to the highest extent
good job behbeh doll!!!
this is truly awesome!!!
I love♥ dolly pie!!!
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thnx bby!
ur a sweetie!
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Oh Wow;;
"Seething underneath your eyelids"
"Having nothing to do with your wonderland dreaming
She could never be what you want her to be
Her lips [oh-so like morphine aesthetic] are cracked and aging"
"Your promises of a perfect plastic face"
I love those parts;; wonderful imagery && word choice hun&hearts -
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thnx sweets!
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very nicealicious
solitary flower to her fractured chest..
so depressing and vivid...i really like this one
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"Your promises of a perfect plastic face
Raise her spirits to the highest extent"
Your poems are all good
and they always have some
(or more)
lines that absoultly fabulous! -
"How to love without tangling herself in a rainbow pebbled with bruises"
--pebbled with bruises! thats a definate line that i feel has a POP to it, you just can't help but see it in your mind as you read it.
"Seething underneath your eyelids like a cloud of rose petals"
--cloud of rose petals is a very nifty image i applaud you on that hunny hunny
my two very favorite lines love
i saw a beautiful mirage of pain in this
i think you did rather well and i wish you good luck in the contest
[♥]
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hsadhfjsdg. i loooooovvveeeee this. good write
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Craving nothing but the most intimate of dreams, she does not know
How to love without tangling herself in a rainbow pebbled with bruises
god bby, this describes me so well its scary. great poem though sugarbaibee.
love you[to the core.&back]
your wife. -
she does not know
How to love without tangling herself in a rainbow pebbled with bruises
that [right there] is gorgeous.
absolutely love that line.
&& the amazing imagery you weaved into this piece.
wow.
love it.
good luck.
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Her lips [oh-so like morphine aesthetic] are cracked and aging
From your insanely-sour kisses; her eyes tainted
With the brittle lies you portray
babydoll this is awesome
i lovelovelove it ! ! !
xxxxxx -
The last line is breathtaking. I loved this a whole, so deep! Good luck in the contest, this is beautiful.
Chelsea
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