that rests upon my trembling hands,
each lost memory that fate slowly closes
drift away with the fast paced sand.
You gave me the lavender rose right then
when our eyes first found one another,
when we were unaware if we’d meet again
in this world our feelings still smother.
Then when the right time came, you held
that yellow rose my way with a smile,
told me you cared for me, as best friend felt,
to make this long journey worthwhile.
Granted me with the gentle pink rose
while you whispered a silent ‘thank you’,
not afraid to show it all and expose
what deep inside was the real you.
I remember this whitest and purest one
that you gave me for my innocence;
for the secret emotions inside had begun
to form a plan of perfect brilliance.
Right then when the orange touched me
and intertwined into this soul
was when my heart started to agree
to see the big picture as whole.
And then the yellow rose with red tip
came to my waiting hands.
And that is when I started my first trip
to the love of the old lands.
Filled with the passion of eternal love,
the red rose continued to bloom;
telling us stories of the loves up above
where each love story will resume.
But the fairy tale ended far too quickly
when you bought that blue curse.
Your body that became far too sickly
turned the pages of life in reverse.
You bought that black rose in advance
for your last mortal goodbye.
The last memory of this lost romance
has withered in my lost cry.
© Jay H.
April 17, 2007
Author notes
Entry to the contest:
"Bouquet of Thorns" by Never Fall in Luv
I had some time in hands (as I'm sick at home and have nothing to do) so I used all the roses in this piece - one rose for each stanza, except the first. I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for with the contest, so feel free to DQ it if it doesn't fit in.
And yeah, I read the rules, so you don't have to waste your time by sitting there and reminding me of them ninety-ten times
A contest entry
- Bouquet of Thorns by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended May 17, 2007, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think - be as bold as you can; I don't break.
Comments
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lol
Thank you for reading the rules
First I want to say
That I'm very impressed
and I find no reason to disqualify you
I love the way you used each rose
and this is put together beautifully
Especially since I can relate to it
Though, I would like to suggest something
Some of your rhymes can generally be improved in some areas
sickly, brilliance, smother
those three bothered me a bit while reading
I'm hoping that you try to improve this
and if you do, let me know
I'll probs check one more time
(not ninety-ten times)
Good Luck in the contest
NeveR ♥
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Yeah well... I was sick at that time... lol
Thanks for pointing those spots out for me. I'll try and have some time to improve this piece a bit, but can't make any promises with all the other writings I'm stuck with. I'm drowning in notebooks by now... But I'm glad that you pointed those words out for me, so now I don't have to spend all day finding what bothered people with the piece...
Thanks for your word; they mean a lot to me
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