To all those lost,for
those who aren't here.
In the night we shed
many a tear.
The grass grows on your
grave.
I am a slave to your memory.
The light shines from your soul
upon mine.
The tears of sea splash on the
shore, as the reality sinks in.
Your gone, without a word you left.
No longer do you exist.
Misty, are the eyes that mourn for you.
Goodbye, We'll see you in heaven, friend of true.
Author notes
hate and lies
In a list
A contest entry
- Show Me Words Of Sorrow (CONTEST) by Naraku No Hana.
900 points, ended May 5, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All My Comment Points Will Go Toward The End Prize -- All Poems Allowed!!! ♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
800 points, ended May 18, 2007, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I really liked this piece, and it sadens me. For I do know what its like to lose someone dear. I actually just lost my cousin on monday. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
doreen H
This was lovely a loving tribute to your lost loved ones. Good Luck Doreen -
Very good
I am a slave to your memory.
The light shines from your soul
upon mine.
The tears of sea splash on the
shore, as the reality sinks in.
Well said
Rick
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I can feel the emotion and sadness. You might want to check the use of the word "your" though. It should be you're the way you have used it here.
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This is a very heart fel poem, that speaks of the loss of one you have known and loved.
The tears of sea splash on the
shore, as the reality sinks in.
Sometimes reality takes time, and than the oceans of tears come. It is part of the process, but a hard one for us all. You have expressed this well.
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This is truly a sad write. Such word of truth you have penned. We do mourn loved ones lost and our memories of them stay in our hearts. A very emotion filled write. I love all of this!
All the best to you in this contest.
Gaylene
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BEAUTIFUL
I CAN RELATE TO THIS POEM WHOLE HEARTEDLY, I'VE LOST TWO LOVED ONES WITHIN THE LAST THREE YEARS...IT HURTS TERRIBLY...MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU ...FRANCES
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pretty...
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It was good...the words were willing me to feel the sadness...but unfortunatly I didn't quite get there. Thanks for sharing.
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deep sorrows, nice poem. the rythm and the whole poem is overall good. and all is well expressed. thankyou for reading my stuff
xoxox keep writting -
Wow, beautiful work with sad, comforting words. Wonderful write. Thank you very much for your entry and good luck in the contest
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I like this, the rhyming scheme is good, and I can feel what you're talking about. Great write.
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wow great write...keep it up you have got some real tallent...i love your work....
Krissy -
Wow - very sad - I love this: "Misty, are the eyes that mourn for you./Goodbye, We'll see you in heaven, friend of true."
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This is really good. I like the line " I am a slave to your memory". this is magnificent.
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sad
I like it but it is so very sad!!!!!!!!!
I hope you win this contest,and thank you for joining my group, I've recently posted some polls and a questionare if you want to check it out.
great write!!!!!!!!!!
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"I am a slave to your memory."
WOW
Very powerful and yet true words.
So many of us are indeed slaves to their memories.
A very good poem.Great imagery.
Quite dramatic with that black background also.
Good job!
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