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Killed One Year Ago

Was it worth the trouble. All i got was an abused body and locked up more. I can still feel. The needles on my skin. Tearing though the flesh you wanted. So i take the blade. And cut my hair. Remembering you luring me there. As we listened to music i didn't likie. You played guitar late into the night. I was still a child. But i grew up overnight. You said words i thought were sweet. But they were sour. Look into my eyes. Teel me i'm worthless. I don't think you can do it. Beacuse you're worse scum than me. I should have listened. People told me you were poison. Why did i ignore.

You never hit me and you never shouted. Your abuse was subtle. Changing my thoughts. Seducing me. Your bright blue eyes and blood red hair. Brought me to my knees. Then you took what you wanted. And you left me for dead.And i don't see you anymore. So i can nevr even up the score. Why did you do it. Why did you fail me. I ask myself this every day. Even though it was a year ago.

I never said you loved me. I barely said you liked. You would constantly tell me we were right. I was in a cage and you had the key. But what you wanted in return was scary. I said yes. Why. Why. Why did i give in. I wonder what you're doing now. Or who you are destroying. Make me another line. This time i'll say no.Give me another shot. Because you've already taken all that i've got. And i'm shaking on the floor. Because i no longer understand innocence.; This is my only release. Pouring the words that i need to say to you.

You never hit me and you never shouted. Your abuse was subtle. Changing my thoughts. Seducing me. Your bright blue eyes and blood red hair. Brought me to my knees. Then you took what you wanted. And you left me for dead.And i don't see you anymore. So i can nevr even up the score. Why did you do it. Why did you fail me. I ask myself this every day. Even though it was a year ago.

I want to call. To see if you're still alive. Did all the horror finally make you die. If so i will still not be complete. There's someone else who cares for me. But no matter what i say. He will never fully understand. How a child can be broken by a man. And how she wanted to be stopped. He'll never know her now. These venomous memories. Thery haunt me. Every day i think of what you did. And how you snatched me from my crib. I hope you know this soon. Before your death catches up with you. Don't run away you know i'm right. I just want to see you one last night. And say.

You never hit me and you never shouted. Your abuse was subtle. Changing my thoughts. Seducing me. Your bright blue eyes and blood red hair. Brought me to my knees. Then you took what you wanted. And you left me for dead.And i don't see you anymore. So i can nevr even up the score. Why did you do it. Why did you fail me. I ask myself this every day. Even though it was a year ago.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Number 13
    November 5, 2007

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    I don't remember ever reading this before o.0
    but you have a comment from me, if so I HIGHLY doubt my comment would have been that short!

    This write is heartbreaking;
    the emotions are so carefully laid out.

    The repetition really did add alot to this poem.

    Thank you, for entering <3


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 27, 2007
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    Great poem COngrats on all the trophies good luck in girlish's contest

  • Number 13
    September 24, 2007
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    great write
    thanks for entering


  • alco
    September 15, 2007

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    This to me was like a story I wanted to continue reading, I didn't want it to end. But I wanted it to end, bcuz it was so sad, and of such a horrific subject matter. Your age is listed as, "adult", so IDK how old you were when this life altering event occured. To share a bit of the saga of my life w/you, I was 7yrs old when my older brother started molesting me, and it went on well into my teen years. I was 16yrs old when I moved out of my parents house. 17yrs old when I moved across the state (SD), 365miles, and shortly thereafter moved in with my b/f and got pregnant w/my daughter. Well, being young, her father and I broke up while I was still pregnant. When I was 19, I married a guy I thought was my knight in shining armour, turned out he was my knight in rusty aluminum. He beat me throughout our 4yr marraige, and a little over 2yrs after the divorce, and I was remarried, we found out that he had molested my daughter throughout my marraige to him. Twice he was indicted for 1st degree rape, and twice it was dismissed. That's SD justice for ya. So, yeah. I've met my fair share of asshole men too. I wish you all the best with your future, that you can find healing. I'm now 30yrs old, almost 31, and I've been seeing a therapist off and on since I was 15yrs old, constant for the past 7yrs. My daughter and my son have both been in therapy for the past 4yrs. It does help, to an extent. I mean, nothing makes the nightmares go away. But talking to a unbiased person really does help. Take care and be safe.-Monica


  • Janice M Pickett
    September 2, 2007
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    This has been added to the book. THANKYOU.


  • islekine gold member
    August 15, 2007
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    Great job!


  • Elvenfairy
    August 13, 2007
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    this was a powerful poem. Powerful and heart wrenching. Thanks for entering my contest


  • Dead Star--x
    August 1, 2007
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    the repitition in this poem gave it an edge made it really sink in and i like the you never hit me but you took what you wanted
    its kinda like he knew what he was after
    thanx for entering & good luck
    CureMyTragedy


  • erininthesky
    June 22, 2007
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    Wow... All I have to say is, wow. This is so emotion-filled and passionate about the topic. I'm so sorry. Everything in this really touched me, and I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for entering and good luck! ♥ Erin


  • juliex-exotic shine
    May 29, 2007

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    The whole time that I was reading this poem, these lines stood out most to me
    'I was in a cage and you had the key. But what you wanted in return was scary.'
    It's a great write, very well done. Thanks for entering, and good luck.
    [take.care]
    x.


  • WishMeAway--x
    May 27, 2007
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    so many emotions in this. so much pain.

    good luck in my contest
    ♥Chaos


  • ExpectingMommy18
    May 25, 2007

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    i liked this the write was like a story but the meaning of it made up for it so i wish you the best of luck in the contest thank you for entering


  • Edna Sweetlove
    May 23, 2007

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    This has won insufficient prizes to be considered. Maybe try a different one? In the meantime: deleted.


  • VaioXHailey
    May 22, 2007

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    umm well this is more like a poem in story form. WEll there is also many spelling error's but i think you got the point of what i was asking for!! well wish you luck!!


  • Se
    May 21, 2007
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    A very good write. loved these lines especially "I was still a child. But i grew up overnight."

    "He will never fully understand. How a child can be broken by a man."

    " Why did you do it. Why did you fail me. I ask myself this every day. Even though it was a year ago."

    A brilliant poem Good Job and Good Luck!!!!!


  • Dark Whispers
    May 15, 2007

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    I have to say I do not like the the form that you use to type this poem up i it doesn't do it justice, It was a very powerful poem.


  • Jizzy Judy
    May 13, 2007

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    I'm sorry but I couldn't read past the first paragraph. I get so annoyed when writers can't be bothered to proof-read or spell-check! It's SO counter-productive.


  • crystallynnbradford
    May 11, 2007

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    intense....

    this was a very intense and deep piece filleed with heart-breaking emotion and this was by far one of the most excellent things that I have ever read...there's so much poan and yet so much life to thepiece and sooooooooooooooo much sympathy for the main character and it really was an amzaing read and I have never really read anything so in depth in any of my previous contests...this was beyond the average writer and this was aboslutlery astonishing in every way and I really hope that this isn't based on a true story because that would just bring me down to a million and two tears. Thank you soooooooooo much for entering my contest and I wish you the very best of luck


  • xXbroken lullabyXx
    April 25, 2007

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    i wasn't expecting anything like this but you did a fantastic job on it..and i was just wondering what picture you'd chosen..but overall you did a fantastic job on portraying all these emotions..good luck in the contest!

1 - 19 of 19