My eyes flicker
In an ignorant
And forgotten state.
Closed are the portals
Which see Reality,
Sorrow, Sadness,
Madness, and Misery.
But behind the shut windows
I see in Mind’s Eye
Faint visions of neither
Past nor Present.
Maybe it is nothing more
Than a forgotten Hope.
The dream is simple.
There is a woman atop a hill,
With a passionate expression,
Worn and conveyed
By burning red lips,
Which turn everything else
To gray dullness.
I know who she is
Yet I can’t see her face
With any distinction.
Her face is there though,
And I feel that it’s her.
I need not look to see.
There.
A flash of lightning
Illuminates her visage
For just a second.
Followed by Thunder,
Moments later.
She stands silently,
Staring out and
Mocking my forbidden glance.
Flash, boom, Flash, boom,
Reverberating again and again.
The dullness is effaced by a brightness.
This radiance that engulfs me
And lifts me above the stormy clouds.
Bright is my room as I wake up
To see the light pouring in.
As the warmth embraces my revival,
I realize now that
The reality of the morning star
Will far outlast
The flashes of a forgotten dream.
A contest entry
- Numbing the Pain by FaeRae.
900 points, ended April 24, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bittersweet and Real-World Happy. by infinite spirit.
550 points, ended April 24, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Two Options by IndividualEleven. by IndividualEleven.
850 points, ended May 13, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment and critique the poem!
Comments
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what they said
You already know what I think about this piece, so i'll just reiterate by saying that i believe you may have a contest winner with this one, judging from the responses below (like from the contest leader, lol). Good luck in either case!
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Wow.
Now I feel rather silly for entering this competition!! (I'm new to this site =D ). Your poem is brilliant and beautiful. The use of short sentence structure is very effective, and I love it when you say, "But behind the shut windows/I see in Mind’s Eye
" A very clever poem; I wish you the very best in this contest. Well done, and keep writing. Ellie. -
Wow
This was fabulous. I would be more than interested to know your story behind this if you'd be willing to share (in a private message, maybe?) If not I understand. But this was really beautiful. Thanks for entering.
FaeRae
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