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Last Words

A note,

the note,

in a language she couldn't read.

 

Filipino,

like her grandfather,

with his scraggly beard

and too-thick glasses,

struggling to get out the words,

shaking when he held the pen.

 

And now she sat on the concrete floor,

hearing the too-loud sounds,

industrial music streaming in the windows.

She had to get away.

 

Somewhere quiet,

a place she could sit,

alone,

unbothered by the noise.

 

Under the tree,

out in the feild.

Now all she heard;

the buzzing of a bee that would leave her alone,

the wind blowing through the leaves above,

and the earth creaking like an old wood floor.

 

Tears streaming down,

her head in her hands,

wondering

'why'

as she held his last words.

Author notes

Written for the 'cubed' contest.

Music - Industrial

Language - Filipino

Phrase - "the earth creaked like an old wood floor"

 

You might not know what I am talking about, but the judge does.

 

Anyways, I thought of this poem as a story that fit the contest. It is NOT something that actually happened to me, but I think it's pretty sad.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Don Michael gold member
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that phrase is incredible and you built a wonderful write around it. It's almost hard to believe that there's not any personal experience behind this piece; the emotions are too real. I rather enjoyed the phrases "too-loud sounds" and "too-thick glasses." I'm not really sure why, but I did along with the entire write. Good luck.


  • Old Fool
    April 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    No personal experience.. could have fooled me..
    The power of the emotions, brought to life through the imagery used, plainly amazing.
    Very well done! My Respect!
    Love
    x
    Ev {o!-}


  • duke of balabamas
    April 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice story. i liked the seemless incorporation of the elements. a great first read.


  • Hell In Harmony
    April 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh<333
    awesome
    I love the phrase you got

    lucky

    GOODLUCK
    this rocks.