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Welcome To The Panic Room

Welcome to the panic room
Where sepsis comes to play
There's no way to stop shaking
Armageddon every day
When scared and fearless both collide
The walls all reek with genocide
With latitude labeled "acess denied"
By handcuffs and chains we will have to abide
The hammer you hear is a verbal fist-fight
It strikes, and the wallpaper rips
The sparks fly off and they enter my skull
Piercing straight through like sharp hollow tips

Held captive to the panic room
They'll tell you "never fear"
Please don't hyperventilate,
Your nemesis is here
Are they for real, or just an illusion?
Hostile, or a paranoid delusion?
Am I really plagued, or just in confusion?
I'll keep these questions safe in seclusion
In petrified terror, I breathed a lament
Like purging a knife, it came bitter and quick
Atonement got smothered, from all they resent
I act like a dog; panting and sick

Kept here in the panic room
Nothing left here in the panic room
They see you've come to meet your doom
So welcome to the panic room

Author notes

April 16, 2007.... This is how I feel when I'm at my so-called "home"... I cannot stand my parents. All they do is scream at each other and they take away what matters to me... The only thing I'm good for is school work... I've become terrified of these people. I literally jump when someone opens a door here... I can't look at them, I can't talk to them, I can't show emotion around them... Even if they did redeem themselves in some way, it's too late... I'm already paranoid. It's like a phobia... I fear them more than anything. That's what this is about. For me, being at "home" is like being in the panic room.

1) Scare me. Not through gore or blood, but through something psychological.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • knickerdew
    October 19, 2007

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    Unfortunately too many children suffer from PTSD that haunts them all the way through their lives, due to their parents inconsideration of what their emotional outburst have done to their children.
    I love the idea of this poem and how you express yourself here.
    It does seem as though you got a little overwhelmed with the ending.
    Thanks for entering, good luck, and keep up the good work!

  • freestallion
    September 12, 2007

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    This is an interesting poem, and I can sympathize with your author's notes. However, some of the rhymes didn't seem to sound as good. Thanks for entering my contest.

  • renizzle
    June 6, 2007

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    It's a good poem that captures what I wanted in the option but I think the change of rhyme scheme throws off the flow a little. Just an opinion. Thank you for entering!

  • WanderingCyclone
    May 30, 2007
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    I've been there. Good writes. Good luck.

  • Shadows-stars
    May 20, 2007

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    This is very well written poem, lots of dark images and deep emotions... the rhythm and flow is good, with a few awkward spots here and there but otherwise it reads well... the rhyming is excellent... the only thing I would suggest is to break up the stanza's more with your rhyming scheme.. break it up into stanza's of four lines to better suit the rhyming scheme you have used, it may flow better.
    I love the repetiveness of 'the panic roam', it makes the statement very powerful, well done!!
    thank you for entering my contest and good luck..
    peace and light always..

  • Mommas Fallen Angel
    May 20, 2007
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    WOw. This was really good. I liked it alot. Thank you for entering and good luck!
    Megan

  • XxtragicaffairxXMCR
    May 10, 2007

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    you didn't tell me who you are. however this is a good write. i like it a lot. it speaks to me on a personal level actually. thank you and good luck in my contest.

  • Friday gold member
    April 28, 2007

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    I cannot judge this piece until it meets all the requirements. Please go back to the contest page and read the rules. Thank you for entering.

  • Scented kiss
    April 28, 2007
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    oh my gosh i love this poem. I love the chill to it it's fantasic


  • WriteOrWrong597
    April 20, 2007

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    This was really great. I am sorry to see that you suffer like this. This poem was...malicious. That's really the only word I can think of right now. It made my heart rate go up, just thinking about the room you described. Great job.

  • The Void
    April 20, 2007

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    the poem started off great but the middle tapered off a little but the end was great also, I feel like I was on a roller coaster.

  • Birgitte silver member
    April 20, 2007

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    I love the title, and the way you used it in the last line. The last stanza is a perfect ending. this is a very strong poem. I'm sorry you feel that way.

  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 18, 2007

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    this is a really great poem..i can really relate to what you are saying and feeling in this poem..its horrible when your stuck in that position hope things get better for you keep writting your talented

    ~Chrissy~

  • KnightOfShadows
    April 18, 2007
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    wow! just WOW! this poem was soooooooooooooooooo strong! I really enjoyed reading this piece! Im sorry about your relationship with your parents and I hope everything works out for you! anyway excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!




    -Steve-

  • untitledscream
    April 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    Wonderful job, a few spelling errors, but wonderfully composed about a terrible subject. I have been there and it is a terrible place to be. The good news is you have found a fantastic outlet in your poetry. You are very well versed and I hope you continue to write. Please feel free to message me. I would love to talk to you.

    Love Linzi

    . Rewarded 6


  • John Timothy Bailer
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is a very good poem, i liked the rhyme and meter of it and it flowed very well. i dont really see where it connects to my image but i like it just the same. thanks for entering, keep up the great work, Tim aka childofthenight
1 - 17 of 17