Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Good-Bye Tina

I loved you the day we met
I'll love you till I die
Though my heart doesn't know it yet
I gave it my last try

Now I have to leave you
You showed me the way
With all the things you didn't do
To make me want to stay

It's a shame our love can't grow
Now that were apart
I will never get to show
From the bottom of my heart

What a wonderful person you are
And what you meant to me
But the game has gone too far
Now you'll never see

Good-Bye my darling
I know we both will miss
Thanks for never caring
I never got a kiss

Author notes

option 1

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • the charmed one
    November 12
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful touching poem . thank you for entering


  • MysteriousWhisper
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful and yet very sad. this poem had a very nice touch to it. good job and good luck in the contest!


  • PerfectImperfection
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    A nice delve into emotion, though I feel it was stifled by the flow here, expressively at least. Good-bye's are never easy... Thank you for your entry!


  • Still Standing gold member
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    Deeper

    I hope that you can revise this and get deeper with the images, just let your emotions pour out and show how you feel about losing your love, she was your heart you know...I'm gonna keep this because it does have potential and I see that you picked up the pieces and are moving on, but just get deeper!! thanks


  • WarmHeartedGeisha
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful and heart wrenching. Wonderful job and thanks 4 entering

    Take Care

    ~Lorissa~


  • Ignis Corpus
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness. I think I might use this poem if you don't mind and show it to him. It really really shows what needs to happen if things can't be. I'm glad you entered this one into the contest. I really liked the first stanza. My favorite lines in this poem are "Though my heart doesn't know it yet/I gave it my last try" and "It's a shame our love can't grow/now that were(we're) apart/I will never get to show/From the bottom of my heart" The only thing I see wrong with this is a few puncuation errors, and spelling error. Use puncuation more. Good job though I wish you the best.
    Beautifuldisasterxx


  • BloodyCrystalEmbers
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the rhyme scheme in this,and it flowed very well...this seems like a very personal piece,I think you put a piece of your own emotions/experiences in this...I found this piece to be very open and heart wrenchingly honest,I really enjoyed reading it,you definitely have a knack for writing...keep it up,great write!!!


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    February 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...you showed me something of my own experience here...I guess all of us poets are dreamers who wanna believe in something as strong as loving someone...connection...

    Hope you didn't find out to hard on all...
    and hope there is someone close to you that is showing you true love

    Good luck in my contest
    XXJeannette


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    February 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Please read my contest rules again


  • Nephlim
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, simple rhymes and the emotion was woven well into the words. The letting go part of the poem was made out really well, because it showed that the love will never truly be let go of. To me at least lol
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • DeathlyAngel
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwww thats sad. But u well move on and find some1 better. Just don't give up hope. Great job. Good luck


  • duana
    August 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hm I wonder how you get such a beautful flow and rhythm to your poems. It's very nice.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Good-bye my daring I know we both will miss Thanks for never caring I never got a kiss...now this is so sad I do hope this is not about you*hug*Makes me want to give you a hug*hug*

     


  • Kristin Melissa
    April 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    TEARS

    I like this... it's sad... and I sorta know what your going through.... long story but yeah... in the end it ended with they both moved on... well I think he moved on.. don't know really...
    ~*~ Mystic


  • cj-renee
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "I never got a kiss"...aww...I'm cryin'. This is sad. Love it.

1 - 16 of 16