If I had the voice of a million angels in my lungs
And serenaded to you on your loveliness,
If I had the wit of the world's greatest Authors
And penned you a thousand love sonnets,
Would you return?
If I could scrape the stars from the night heavens
And string them along chains of solid sunlight,
If I could scoop exotic pearls from the deepest Pacific trench
And offer them on bended knee at your altar,
Would you return?
If I could destroy your enemies with a single word,
Turning my devout passion into steaming wrath,
Or if I could build you a sumptuous mansion with my bare hands,
And not stop until it's done, though I may bleed,
Would you return?
If I possessed the face of some Greek god or hero
And the physique, the build, to match,
If I spoke with the seductive tones of a Casanova
Would I say the right words to convince you
To return to me?
Why do I think I don't want the answer?
Author notes
Written July 17th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- How Deep Does the Heart Go? by Lex Majeska.
250 points, ended December 6, 2003, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well If you meant any of that at all I would think that either you must have been pure evil (thought i can't imagine that now) or she's crazy to not return. I enjoyed the poem very muchly but I have to agree with the comment above thought i like the idea of the ending it seemed like it's not one that should be summed up in one line. You took so much care with the rest of the detail in this peice that it only seems fair to give the ending the same. It all flowed but at the end your breath just gets caught. Other then that beautiful
ZIGGY -
i absolutly was floored by this piece. however *teacher voice*
i think that the last line, although great for conclusion, feels a bit out of place...
-wild -
wow!! um heck ya I would return I might even visit ya if you would do these things for me lol. This was so sad and sweet all at the same time. Poor you this was such a romantic cry for love
nice work!
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Wow... this poem was so incredibly beautiful. Your words flowed through my mind perfectly, I love how this was written. Such sweet and heartfelt words, and then that last line just made me stop and catch my breath, as it sank in. Very well done, I loved it.
~Renay -
Beautiful....so romantic!! Your words just flow so smoothly..and could melt any heart in an instant. The imagery.... astounding! As I commented on one of your short stories.. You are very talented and I really enjoy reading your works. I must add you to my favorites!!!
~Aimee -
A very impressive write and a deserving win...... couldnt have put it any better myself....~~wishintreeUK~~
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Beautiful
oh my god, this was amazing! i loved this so much! and the last part was a real stinger...what a slap in the face....
this is one of my favorite poems on here now, i'm definately bookmarking this...and adding you to my fav's! hehe
wow...this was so romantic....the words you used, and the comparisons, and the imagery! oh my god, wow, this was just wow! lol...i can barely put a sentence together....sheesh, it was amazing.....much love...amazing work.....
~*~Jessica~*~ -
this poem his brilliant...there is little more I can add to the wonderful comments given above except to say that agree wholeheartedly....a great piece....I have a poem that runs along similar lines but use completely different metaphors...maybe one day I'll post it!!....very impressive ...well done...hugs....leanne xxx
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Exquisite!
This is one of the most imaginative love poems I have ever read. This is magical, and the yearning is uninhibited. It's like you bared your soul. She must return, she must, I say she must...for you have given her the world, and a bouquet of roses, minus the thorns. This is exquisite. You spoke with the language of Don Juan. Wonderful! I didn't check to see who the winners of the contest were, but I must enlist that yours is ineed prize worthy .
Thank you for the wonderful comments on my poem. I am honored that you found it pleasing to read. You are a Master of words.
Much Love,
Renee
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your poem give me a powerful message in it and you have nice flow with this poem. I enjoyed the wording and descriptiveness which set for a lovely vivid picture in my mind bou it was the best poem i have read in year thank you for the comment on my poem. I'm look forward
reanding more of your poem and i enjoy reading ur poem.
~~LOVE MELISSA~~
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I truly like the imagary within your words.The flow of this write is seemingly flawless.And I enjoyed the wording and descriptiveness which set for a lovely vivid picture in my mind.
Nice Write!
Thanks for entering and good luck!
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