I pop this thing into my mouth,
They say it supposed to help me.
I'm told not to take so many,
One, two, or maybe three.
What's this feeling inside of me,
A pain I've never experienced,
I grab my side in agony,
Knowing that this is serious.
My feelings are growing cold,
Body's feeling numb.
I turn and face my horror,
As my pills fall in the tub.
I turn to face the mirror,
The world around me spinning,
Sweat trickles down my face,
I see the darkness comeing,
I wretch my way towards them,
Hoping to take some more.
But my body fails me a moment too soon,
So I'm sprawled out on the floor.
Author notes
Well I wrote this a long time ago and found it in an email, thought I should share it
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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great write .. been there done that.. and i be damn if someone didnt bring me back...
hugs hope all is good.. nice to meet you..
my body fails me a moment too soon,
So I'm sprawled out on the floor.
i love the way it ends.. -
interesting
ive tried a overdose and its the similar definition i went through, its really interesting and tells yet another story.. i believe this is really good, maybe you could have made a little more darker side to it.. perhaps talking more about the darkness you seem to see.. but otherwise its really good..
job well done! i really liked when you said
'My feelings are growing cold,
Body's feeling numb.
I turn and face my horror,
As my pills fall in the tub'
and especially when you opened the poem, which the description of the pills in the tub.. found it really interesting to read!
good job my friend!
x
lizzie
x
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very nice.
i like the flow and the rhythm.
What's this feeling inside of me,
A pain I've never experienced,
I grab my side in agony,
Knowing that this is serious.
My feelings are growing cold,
Body's feeling numb.
I turn and face my horror,
As my pills fall in the tub.
if you have ever had a feeling like that you will know it hurts very bad like a sword going in and out of your body over and over and over again.
its amazing how you capture the feelings of an OD in this poem. very very nice write.
Blessed be,
Hecate
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