"The Bog Under the Bridge"
Under the bridge
all is still
and her inert lungs
speak of a scream so shrill
The gloomy water
drains her once-vivid skin
and the creatures consume
what she had once been
The lake reflects
the pitch-black sky
but rejects the light
of the stars so high
Nothingness strangles out
her blood-ridden breath
the marsh takes her life
and defines her death
The memories of her days
are but ripples on the lake
her horror lies in
her single mistake
A contest entry
- I Don't Know by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 29, 2007, 137 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.... by Wrendered.
318 points, ended April 30, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING BUT LOVE by J McSANE.
342 points, ended May 13, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Farewell Contest by Kikai Ni.
790 points, ended May 23, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Birthday Wishes by FleetingImage.
475 points, ended June 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me scream by WanderingCyclone.
460 points, ended June 12, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - killing emotions by timberwolf1313.
310 points, ended September 28, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Comment!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Great read
The poem came to life under the bridge. Sad that people get in such a state, but, true. The flow of the poem went well start to finish and the imagination of each stanza left an impression, One that I shall hold on to. Thank you for sharing.
Return the favor?
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Very good. I enjoyed it. It reminds me of a sad song. Keep the flow and good luck.
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This is amazing!! The imagery and personification was particularly wonderful. You are an amazing poet and I hope you never stop writing!!
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Oh wow nice poem i really like the image about the dark sky reflecting in the lake but it refuses the light of the stars. Nice thought good luck in the contest.
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Wow
The bloody breath was a very nice touch. Horror is always good company to misery. Well done. -
Wow, this is very well written. I enjoyed reading it. It was full of imagery and the flow of the poem was amazing. THis is definately going in the preliminary finalists. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
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Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it!
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This was a great poem!!! I could visualize the scenario. Great write!
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^_^
Very well written, and I'm sure you've been told this before, but you've got a great eye for details in imagery. Thank you for entering, and good luck! May your pen be blessed!
:Wren: -
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. This is a well written poem. i do not care for the subject, but it is a part of everyday life that we have to deal with. Good structure and poetic phrasing.
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Thanks for the comment. I think it's awesome that you comment everyone that enters, even though you have like 70 entries. The whole darkness/death/ hopeless thing isn't really my style either, this one just came out like that. maybe ive been reading too many depressing poems on this site!
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