~~~The A- H Magnet~~~~

I'm a single, widowed woman,
I am not a kid any more;
But all I seem to attract lately
Are guys who just want to score!

They all start out very attentive,
They are gentlmanly, suave, all nice;
They "put on the dogs" and fine manners,
They date me once, maybe twice!

Some of these clowns just think,
By the third date they should get laid,
Or a "hand-job", a "blow-job", or "quickie,"
With so much free stuff, I 've been well  paid.......

They think because they held my coat and a door,
And tossed-in an elegant dinner,
That the Grand Prize for this sacrifice
Is to screw me! Bingo! The Lucky Winner!

But they don't know whom they are dealing with,
I've had them in droves, by the horde,
Any woman who gets as much crap as I do,
Deserves to dole out the "Charmin Award!"

My last "encounter," as I call him,
Made me feel belittled and cheap,
After he screwed me, he quizzed me about my past,
He informed me he did not want to sleep

With a woman who had just one man,
I loved this guy so very much,
But until I am blood- tested,
He won't kiss me, come near me, or such!

That made me feel trashy and dirty,
He made me feel like "walking- HIV,"
I suggested he use a condom,
Until tested he wants no part of me!

I should stand at my front door,
I am assailed by assoles by the horde;
And  stand armed  with "Trojans" and "TP",
I have the Ultimate Asshole Award!

The "Charmin Award" as I call it,
There are no ifs/ands: plenty of butts,
For I keep getting shit on Royally,
....I pity your poor bags of "nuts!"

I am a nurse by trade,
I'd know an asshole anywhere!
I need someone nice so hadly,
I've given up, I don't really  care!

All I seem to attract are jerks,
I'm  "Asshole Magnet", no fakin!
I suspect I will remain  alone,
For the decent men are all taken.

I hope I am wrong about this,
I keep meeting these skanky  guys,
I hope to find one Special man , doubt this,
Before I meet my death, my  demmise!