As I stare down the barrel of this gun
I think about everything we shared
All the things you did
Everything I ever felt
Love
Heartache
Anger…
Mostly heartache.
Knowing you loved somebody else…
I stare down the barrel of this gun…hoping…
Hoping that someday you will miss me
In this barrel I see you eyes.
Blank
Black
Empty
Only ever looking elsewhere.
Never looking at me
It’s how it’s always been…
I just never wanted to see.
You never felt the way I wanted you to.
I stay up late staring at your wandering eyes in my ceiling
Just wishing…praying you would change for me.
Change,
Feel,
See me…
For who I am, not who you ignored.
Ignorance is bliss, so my bliss is gone.
Loving you for so long…I was blind.
So now I stare down the barrel of this gun
Realizing I put it there
In your hands…
To use
Against me.
How stupid am I?
My tears make pools and puddles
In the shattered mirror before me
I see your face in my salty sorrow
That from my eyes has fell
Just like you wanted me to…
I can’t help thinking how you’re so incredibly
Selfish
Cruel
Inconsiderate
Perfect.
I stare down the barrel of this gun, realizing
I have the choice to be free
From all this pain
Misery
Tourment
Vanity
Pity
Yet I crave the suspense you put me through
Hoping with every uncertain moment that you would
Fire that gun off right up to my spinning head
The thought of living without you is
Unbearable
Miserable
Unthinkable
Impossible…
But the thought of dying by your hands
Is a thought that I could well enjoy.
So please, pull the trigger of this wretched device
I don’t want to stare any longer.
Save me
Free me
Help me
Mostly save me…
From all the pain I’ve let you cause me
I stare down the barrel of this gun
But I don’t want to see your face in it any longer
I don’t want to stare any more.
A contest entry
- Options for Everyone by Tears and Raine.
450 points, ended May 18, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Don't Know by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 29, 2007, 137 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Touch Me! by yourbentangel.
350 points, ended April 19, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To You... My Love by pimp daddy satin.
303 points, ended April 21, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I wish I knew how to quit you... by Memoirs of a Girl.
500 points, ended August 15, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow. Such powerful, painful emotion.
Great write and thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
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well as long as you dont tell him shoot me and mean it or want to die completely.. getting away from the pain could mean getting away from him, not away from life.. life is such a beautiful thing, i wouldnt want anyone to take that away from me.. life is supposed to be special, i've said this before 100 times and i'll say it again, you may only live once, but you die twice.
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I know why someone would write poery like this. It is how you feel. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. i have trouble trying to understand why anyone would write poetry like this, but that is just me. There is alot of it out there so I guess I may be in the minority. As far as the poem itself, I think that it is very well written. You have definitely painted a very vivid picture with your words.
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This is differenyt, but still has emo tendencies, especially with your vocabulary 'pain, misery, torment, heartache, black, blank, empty'... it's smacks of emo despite the differences you put in, so it's DQed I'm afraid, please feel free to enter with something more appropriate... or alternatively, edit the emo-esque words out.
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Emotionally written and nice imagery. Thank you for entering my contest, please write your option # in the authors note or just reply to this comment with it (for my references).
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Option 5.
And thanks!
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O.O Wow...that's just...wow...I am amazed by the emotion that I get vibing off this poem. Thank you for entering and good luck.
~Raine~
**I'd give applause but I've used them all up.
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