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A Rainy Day in Paradise.

You run through the rain with me.
Past the stream as it overflows.
Our clothes are drenched with rain,
but my love for you just grows.

We drift in and out of cloudbursts,
laughing all the while.
No matter what the weather
I just love to see you smile.

The air is thick around us,
as you pull me to you close.
Your fingers find my dripping hair
as I kiss your perfect nose.

My clothes are
plastered to my frame.
But it doesn't seem to matter
since you're whispering my name.

You look into my eyes
and I can tell you are afraid.
I kiss away your fears.
I'll keep each promise made.

Clinging to eachother,
two fools here in the rain.
As long as I'm with you,
my heart can feel no pain.



Author notes

For Wyatt


Favorite song = "Long Trip Alone" Dierks Bentley

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • rosie4491
    August 7, 2008

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    Awwww! such a sweet love poem! and my favorite love atmosphere.

    The air is thick around us,
    as you pull me to you close.
    Your fingers find my dripping hair
    as I kiss your perfect nose.

    My favorite stanza and at the same time my least favorite. The imagery is absolutely stunning! but the second line seems quite rough. forced even.. to rhyme with nose. perhaps something like "you pull me - oh so close" or "as you pull me ever close"

    the 4th stanza is a little awkward as well. but it's a wonderful pen either way! a little polishing and it's as good as new! *my suggestions are just that though - suggestions* Best of luck!

    Keep it up =]


  • Nostalgic Moon
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i heart you angie. *says in that witch's voice from wizzard of ozz>* and your little poems too! =)
    hehe
    *APPLAUSE!!!!!*


  • Ryno
    June 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm.. I like the ideas in some parts of this write; full of vibe and voice, but other parts seemed a little cliche, and some lines had great flow while others flow was distorted. Nonetheless; this poems sends off great emotion. Good write. Thanks for the entry.

    Ryan


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Just love the wonderful feeling this sends to me...Love in the rain playing lovers games...Sweet very sweet thank you so much for entering and sharing with me


  • arafura gold member
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    cloudbursts...

    Fun in the rain? Well written and sweet!

    Good luck in the contest!


  • IAmAlreadyGone
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oops! wrong emoticon! i meant for it to be a smile >>
    keep it up


  • IAmAlreadyGone
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "As long as I'm with you,
    my heart can feel no pain."

    Love the poem :@

  • I loved it. As long as I'm with you, my heart can feel no pain. good line


  • Gwenevere
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    AWWWW!!!

    A lovely love poem.You did really well with this.I could feel the wet clothes steaming in the sunshine, Ros


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely and tender write. I enjoyed it.


  • KhaosFury
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful! its extremly lovely and the imagery it amazing!! thanks for entering my contest best of luck!!!
    ~Cosmic

    P.S.
    Can you tell me which person you want to be in my family please? Its hard cuz I cant veiw your profile beacuse I'm only a sliver member x] Thank you!


  • K-rod
    April 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i dont think it is cliche....i think it is romantically comforting!


  • Whyitt U
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am so loving this...another day in paradise made perfect because of you. I can see it all so vividly, and feel your dripping hair, and your loving stare...as I whisper in your ear, Angie...Angie...when will those clouds all disappear? Angie..Angie...where will it leads us from here? Angie...Angie...maybe you could walk with me a while, maybe I could rest beneath your smile...As I hug you tight and hold you near you wipe away every tear...and kiss away all of my fears. You are amazing and this made me cry. Thank you very much for this wonderful write!!!

    Wyatt xoxoxo

  • Deepredvelvet
    April 16, 2007
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    Beautiful......amazing it seems with true love nothting else matters


  • Violinstrings silver member
    April 16, 2007
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    gooD

    it is a great one I love it , the flow of word is great


  • faderman1959
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah! Young love is so grand! So all encompassing! I really envy that feeling! I especially liked the last stanza, it finished it off so nicely! Great read!


  • elemental angel
    April 16, 2007

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    This is beautiful. Full of wonderful imagery and heartfelt emotion. Best of luck in the contest and keep up the great work. Bravo


  • MoonlightBeam
    April 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    great

    Awww, this is a sweet poem


  • narenial
    April 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A little cliche, but it's cute overall.

    Nice job .


    • Angierie
      April 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.. Yeah.. I'm a little on the sappy side..lol.

      Angie

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