Hi Buttercup,
If we ever speak to each other again there are things I want to say to you but I’m afraid I won’t be able to get the words out. I’m writing so either way you’ll know what’s going through my mind.
I want to tell you I miss you. I want to tell you I love you. I want to tell you I adore and respect you. I want to ask you to give us one more chance. Wants are selfish. I care about you far too much to ask you stay with me if it makes you unhappy. It isn’t a relationship if you are forced into it, through guilt or sympathy or loneliness. Relationships are built on love and trust and if you neither love nor trust me it will not work. So, although I may feel upset in the short-term I know the melancholy will pass. I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing I set you free, not trapped in a loveless relationship but free to pursue your happiness.
Over the past couple of years we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs. You introduced me to new experiences, a whole new world of discovery. My journey has taken this path because of you, without you I know I would have quit work and gone back to the Abbey. You helped me gain the confidence to apply for University. Without you I wouldn’t have this strange craving for a vegetarian fry-up.
My one regret is that it ended like this. I did ask for an explanation but it’s blindingly obvious what went wrong. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m sorry for any upset I have put you and your family through. I don’t want forgiveness. I need to forgive myself before anyone else can. I don’t want our future to be a set of twisted mind games. We know how we feel about each-other, we know it will be hard and that we’ll miss each-other. We know that deep down we’ll always have that something special, our love. I don’t want these feelings to turn negative. We should remember our past as something positive and use the experiences as stepping stones to push our futures forward.
I really hope you have an amazing time at York. I also hope that I can still call you when I need help with my maths. You’re a stunningly beautiful, independent and extremely intelligent woman. I have faith that you will succeed in whatever you decide to do. Remember, there are no right or wrong decisions only past ones. I’ll always be here for you and you’ll always be in my heart.
Good luck in the future.
Daniel
Should I send this to her?
Comments
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Perhaps my comment is belated, but I want to tell you that, if I were her, I would greatly appreciate such kind and loving words. You obviously put so much thought, and so much emotion into writing this.... It's been a while since I've spoken to you, yes, but I can tell you've been through hell and back again, and if you really, truly love her [and to me, it seems like you do], sending her such beautiful words, such mature, and loving words, would more than likely be in your best interest.
Hope all is well, Danny
Let me know if you need me
Kayla -
This is beautiful. But since I am not her I would not know how she would respond. It has tears flowing down my cheek because I had gone through a breakup last year and moved out on my own last July. I've been on a journey myself and have survived what I originally did not think I would . It seems like a lot of men do not wish to verbalise their emotions quite like this.
It's lovely. -
i wish I had something inspirational or philosophical to write, but you and I both know I'm not suited to talk about the subject of romance with anyone. All I can say is...time...time heals all wounds, and you will eventually get through the thick of this and find a measure of inner peace. I don't want to fill your head with false hopes or wishes, so I'll just say this... the only way left to go is up. Stay strong.
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Life can at times push us into directions that are in violent disgreement with our feelings and thoughts, while we remain unable to change the cause of events. It is inevitable that once there is more distance between us and the situation in which we were caught, we regret and anguish over it, over the way it evolved. Most prefer to stay away from it, because the emotions involved with it are simply too much to bear. As you showed in the poetical letter and in a comment below, you've not chosen to walk away from it. You have come a long way in doing intense introspection. I read your bio before coming to this page and your poem seemed a fragment of your life that you put under a looking glass. Painful as it may be, it will make of you the spirit you have the potential to become. Life is a gift to some and a rough ride to most. At some point if conditions, that to some extent we have under our control, those of the latter category may be able to use the often grieving experiences as a foundation to lead a meaningful life. I think you have both the wit and power of mind to do that. Stay strong and take care,
U
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I am truly overwhelmed by your kind and inspirational comment. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Take care.
Dan.
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Sweet and honest
This was very honest and well-written. It brought a tear to my eye. Just remember, if it was meant to be nothing will keep you both apart. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. I wish you nothing but joy and luck in whatever you do. Take care, man. Dani
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:O
Hell effing yesy you should.
Not spoken in AGES Dan and really sorry to hear that things haven't worked out with you two, it was always obvious to the world how much you loved (and still love) the missus.
This is gorge, honest, positive but not needy in any way - if someone sent this to me as an ex... well, it would make the end of things so much easier to bear.
All the best boobalah
xxxxxxx
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you are a very dear friend to me and i hate to see you hurt. but it is comforting to me that you, although are clearly hurting, are able to express love and maturity in a positive way. i'm sorry for the shitty past months you've had. I still think we should run away from it all together. love you and i hope to talk to you soon. send me a message. here or on myspace. i still check ap everyday only to see if you've sent me a message.
♥you're fuzzball
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OMG! Tear jerker.. Anyone who endure such and comes out of this with a better outlook has made out well.. good job.. you have a good mind and a pure heart.. wonderful with words.. I loved it..<33Chrissy
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Long but good
Very good it was a long read which may be a turn away for some but I like it. Very beautiful. My faveorite part was:
Remember, there are no right or wrong decisions only past ones. I’ll always be here for you and you’ll always be in my heart.
That was so touching and beautiful. Great job and best of luck in your future.
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I commend you on your positive outlook on the whole experience! It shows you are mature enough to let go of someone because you love them THAT much. 5 months ago, I did the same thing. And now I truly realize it WAS for the better. He's in a wonderful relationship with one of my really good friends, and I have moved on to. God knew what He was doing. I hope your heart heals quickly. Oh and by the way, did you ever send her the letter?
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I did try to read it to her over the phone but couldn't get my words out. She may stumble across it on here or I may pluck up the courage to send it.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
Dan.
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