Ghosting fingers down my back.
Emotion they do not lack.
Phantom music haunts my mind.
The candle's flame is enshrined.
Ecstasy fused in my heart.
I wish for us to never part.
Another business trip
Another strain on the relationship.
Flirty perfume on your clothes.
Now you really are exposed.
Ominous clouds loom ahead.
I wonder if you share her bed.
I see the lies behind your eyes.
I long to cut the ties that bind.
Measured feelings escape your lips
Your heart is now a total eclipse.
Loveless letters painted black.
You took my life, now give it back.
Phantasms fleeting before my eyes.
When did all our problems arise?
Metallic liquid, bitter and red.
I killed you now, so it’s the end.
The taste of you, I can’t erase.
You are forever in disgrace.
Author notes
For a AP poetry class.
A contest entry
- Give me your best #2 by love my jose luis.
600 points, ended April 28, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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hi this is rache a new member
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WOW, I love how you kept the rhyme going. It has a great beat to it. The form is perfect. I love all the detailed lines. I really enjoyed reading this. My favorite lines: Loveless letters painted black.
You took my life, now give it back. -
WHOA!
omg. I like the way it flowed and whoa. That's all WHOA! -
I really like how the flow in this poem is. I think that you did a great job in writing this because I found myself reading faster and faster, kind of like watching a movie in suspense and I liked that.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
~Alix -
Rach, you showed me the unfinished version earlier..
and I honestly didn't know how you made it more beautiful than it already was. I love the ending... in fact, I LOVE every bit x.x you have engraved so much beauty in this piece, while using only a few words 
one small bit x.x one rhyme is off... I suggest (just a suggestion x.x could be my personal opinion x.x please ignore if I'm not making sense)
"I long to cut the ties that bind." to
"I long to cut the hinding ties" (it could retain the rhyme with eyes and the semi syllable thingee x.x wah, again, ignore if useless)
Thanks for sharing this, Rach 
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Loooove it!!! But....you already know that!! ^_^
I just told you! *points to GSA*
Lovely poem....it was good...I'll have my mum read it later on the evenning, maybe after track. She'll like it.
So yep!!!
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I absolutly love this poem. You are able to paint vivid pictures with your words that take the reader on a journey from beginning to end of this poem. Great job on this. I'm so glad you have found your poetry muse!!
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