The patterns on my poncho
show mismatched colours
in smooth tempo with my mind confusion
still its scent of white jasmine remains familiar.
I have followed the rules precisely
in the same way, I used to work
the thread of wool
and blend material together
like in our tradition.
Are homes only a set of walls
built of solid rocks,
to keep me in, while the open door
is made from wooden interdictions?
The blue colour of the carpet
weeps regretfully just
because of how the sky should be.
Thorny branches gathered
to revive the family fire
under the cooking pot
whisper “sorry”
to the tattoos on my back
turning yellow.
I have gathered my few possessions
precious symbol of a previous existence,
and on my shoulders rolled in a shawl
and sleeping, the only reason
for me staying, no longer
I will wait for divine approbation
tonight my future will smile
under a different sky.
.
A contest entry
- Walking Away - One Day Contest by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Four in a Series by ea.
400 points, ended August 3, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Great to read a real poem at last. Amongst all the nice but mediocre this stands out.
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Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment I always try to write meaningful poetry.
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wow, this is so strong; I remember this contest and wrote for it, as well. Thorney branches reviving the family fire under the cooking pot whispering sorry to the yellow tattoos on her back is just a fine, fine image - a stroke of real genius!
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Sorry I wanted to applaud this sad and poignant piece.
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Wow this is so sad and dramatic I hate to think that women have to go through hardship when they have to look after young children. Very well written full of emotions.
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Outstanding!
Bravo!! And congratulations on your winning the bronze trophy!!! 
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Oh this touched me deeply "and on my shoulders rolled in a shawl
and sleeping, the only reason
for me staying"
I know the staying for all the wrong reasons...I woner often how we would all be had we dared to drop the denial......wonderful piece. -
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Thank you for the deep comment and the trophy, yes for all the wrong reasons so many of us have been through this in a way on another as if our body is not precious to us
most are in denial or even do not recognised the signs of abuse what ever the reasons for it, leaving is a duty but it can be a very haunting decision to take.
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This is so beautiful and insightful. There is such a wealth of meaning you gained from this. Excellent work again my friend
All the best in this contest.
Gaylene
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