Progeny all deeply buried,
my love now joining them in sleep.
All my dreams are dust beneath me
scattered by the guns of Allah.
Nothing now remains to keep me
where as a girl I chanced to love;
everything is dust beneath me
everything is dead.
Fleeing from oppresion's heartache
reaching for a taste of freedom,
severing the cords that strangle,
flinging off the veil that blinds;
this and more I do in anger
hating all the hate that dwells
in the heart of what was holy
Now, it resembles the Christian hell.
©2007
A contest entry
- Walking Away - One Day Contest by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
A critical comment is invited.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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excellent piece well deserving of gold, Congrats
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Thank you for the comment and the applauds.
rous
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wow, this just blew me away. so much depth to this, it gave me goosebumps...
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Thank you for the comment. I appreciate it very much.
rous
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What a powerful and pertinent piece....I knwo there are many who are wishing we coudk walkaway from all of this horrible hatred that is forefront and running aroudn the world...it reminds me of our angry youth...and how they, too, are striking out at our hypocrasy...ty for this entry...it is indeed a truth-teller and an important piece of society.
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There is so much this could apply to. I suppose that foremost was walking away from so much pain. Change a couple of words, and it would be anyone fleeing anything. Thank you for the inspiration.
rous
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First I want to make sure I am reading your poem correctly. Is she walking away from the Middle East? I especially came to this conclusion from lines 5, 13, and 17. If this is correct, I love how you talked about a place without actually coming out and saying it. I am a beginning poet and love reading poems from those more established as a learning tool.
I have no critical comment except thanking you for teaching me that I do not have to spell everything out for the reader. Also, less words sometimes say more than lots of words.
Thank you
ArH (sheeprus)
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Yes, that is what the surface says, but the underlying thought is walking away from anything that is wrong and has gotten out of control. I am glad that you like it.
rous
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