The moon has settled over my grave,
thoughts of death are gripping me tight.
haunting and torturing, tormenting my brain.
An exploding pain rattles my skull,
i fall to my knees, there's no escape.
Lost in a sea of mist and clouds,
beaming shadows suffocate.
I hear the voices begin to torment,
lost in my insanity.
The world begins to spin and shake,
reality is pulled from my dimming wake.
I hear the screams, i see the blood,
i watch the murder take place.
The victim at first is unaware,
The shadowed figure strikes.
The dagger slides in,
a horrible scream,
throat is slit, and left to bleed.
The victim is stabbed,
mutilated and tortured.
The demons howl,
conversing the beasts,
wolves applaud the sacrifice.
I'm on the ground,
violently rocking....
screaming out for help.
My body soaked,
drenched in blood,
soon the pain subsides.
A sudden blur,
hallucination,
wolves attack my helpless carcass.
Bones exposed, flesh devoured,
i writhe and kick, struggle to live.
Muzzles covered in a mass of gore,
lost in my insanity.
Then like that
Reality is back.
With dagger in hand,
i look upon the body.
gripped by fear, sickness rises.
The graveyard goes on forever.
The mist is cleared, my mind is back.
I am my own worst enemy.
A contest entry
- ~Darkest Of Dark~ by XxMysticalFantasyxX.
450 points, ended April 30, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Frightful This Way Comes by Tom The Invader.
450 points, ended June 21, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like the way you told this one. It really grabs the reader and draws them in bringing them to a twisted end.
Well done.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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LOL
awwww, thanks hun ^_^
in my opinion, a lot of my older poetry sucks in terms of how it flows. It just doesn't feel right. Thanks for your compliment, i had to go back and re-read this. haha
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Good
This is a good poem, it just needs to be revised more. The capitalization in particular needs to be addressed. It's largely inconsistent and really distracting to the read. I do like the hazy feeling to it, especially at the beginning, like you've gone into shock and the brain is beginning to shut down various systems in order to survive. The ending is kind of confusing though. Is the character able to kill himself even as he loses quarts of blood? Interesting to ponder, kudos for that. Thank you and well done! -
realy spooky, i can almost see the poem happening as i read, congrats on winning bronze in the contest
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Very freaky...Lovin it this is a really great poem! The imagery was great and the wording is very well put! Thank you for joining this contest you are a very talented writer and keep up the great work! My favorite part of this poem was:
"The shadowed figure strikes.
The dagger slides in,
a horrible scream,
throat is cut, and left to bleed.
The victim is stabbed,
mutilated and tortured."
Great Write!!!!
XLadyMoonMistressX
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Hey
Thanks!! This is my first contest i've ever joined on here, i edited the poem a bit cause i personally thought i kinda sucked. haha. Thanks for the compliments!
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