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Seeing You

Missing image

Seeing You

Oh my! I’m surprised it’s so long
I could have gone without seeing that
Do you expect me to break out in song
Oh my! I’m surprised it’s so long
Looking at you it just seems wrong
Naked, you look like a drowned rat
Oh my! I’m surprised it’s so long
I could have gone without seeing that

 

 

Author notes

Triolet

A Triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and the 2nd and 8th lines do as well. The rhyme scheme is simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Agent of Purgatory
    November 24, 2007

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    Why does every body think that "insane"

    People repeat them selves
    That is more associated with self centered people
    people that repeat themselves are afraid they will lose their lies...

    With that said I get the funny in this but can't find insane...unless the owner of the member went crazy from someone denouncing his manhood.

    I must try a triolet acrostic.I am just crazy enough to pull it off.

    Funny yes insane ... I clap once. Ok I am embarressed
    I thought (as I learn to navagate the site)this was in a contest entery.so I say now this is crafty,naughty and...
    as I have only read a few a bar set high for the next time I read one. Again I am emberessed.I changed my clap.

    In ink,
    Dabbler


  • poeticweaver gold member
    July 26, 2007

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    Good

    You did a really good job with this, yet another triolet to be read..I like this style and form, and the content is catchy as well. Thanks for sharing, and keep on penning on!



    -Timothy


  • ellipsist
    June 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    LMAO

    this is great! humorous without compromising form!


  • Swan song gold member
    May 16, 2007

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    This is different. Could be taken two ways and once is naughty. But the rhythm is there and your poem is true to form.


  • Laura
    April 28, 2007

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    wow ive never read this form of poetry before and hey i loved it well done this is pure talent xx
    laura xxx


  • Aeonna
    April 16, 2007

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    Bravo

    , this is very funny poem, thanks poetess.. this cheer me up...another fabulous write from the goddess of poetry..


    red roses


  • Desire gold member
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Loved the form and Beautifully constructed
    One silly write that had me chuckling

    Oh My

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • sunny day
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMG, I love your take on the picture here. You penned a perfect triolet. Your form poetry is absolutely brilliant, it always flows smoothly and the rhyming is perfection personified. Thank you for sharing another work of art with all of us and best wishes in the contest. You are phenominal. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Jimfre Talbent
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I chuckled, and then felt pity, and then confusion, and then laughed outright.

    I forgot my meds this morning.

    HOWEVER, that is neither here nor there.

    The piece was wonderful! I enjoy what you can do within the confines and stricture of structure. And when I think of the woman in the picture, well, I laugh then feel pity. . .yada yada yada.

    You are so dynamic, I could spit.


  • elemental angel
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great use of form lol. I'm really gonna have to try a triolet myself. Thank you so much for entering and good luck in my contest. Bravo


  • night-eyed demon
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh my ! this poem to me has alot of feelings and passion. I think it's good. it was reading one of your poems. I'll come back laters

    marius


  • JohnnyD gold member
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A Wharf rat I would suspect??? caught running down the rope from the grain storage hold? yeah....okay.


    cute write Amera with some Elfishness included! LOL!

    Dad


  • Ink4Blood
    April 16, 2007

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    OK Amera, this is indeed an interesting piece. I'm not sure I like the piece itself but you pulled off the Triolet like a fish pulls off the swim. Never let your ink dry before you write again.

    Peace & Love
    Justin


  • PerVirtuous
    April 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry. I'll put it away. Three bunnies.

1 - 14 of 14