Shadows
Looming in stealth
Strange shapes appearing there
Sounds within making hackles rise
Stepping cautiously, fear overtaking
Heart racing in terror extreme
Hearing unearthly screech
What lurks within
Shadows
One touch
Chilled as the grave
Bolting out of harm's reach
Silently screaming, spineless soul
Knowing I'm doomed to always remember
Hoping to reach a place that's safe
Dashing full tilt for home
Recalling that
One touch
Author notes
I hope a double rictameter is acceptable.
In a list
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Contest - Rictameter by Seeking Peace.
750 points, ended August 21, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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By all means you can enter a double, in fact I was hoping people would take it upon themselves to do so, this is a seamless piece with great flow, well done on this one
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck
Karen -
i really liked the shape that was used, forming a poem to a certain shape is always hard because it stresses the length of the words and and phrases used to a point where you have to think two lines ahead to match the line before, so on that i applaud you, the flow of this was also great, which adds to the difficulty of the previous of shapes. not much that i can see wrong with this so great job and good luck in the 2007 raven contest qualifier
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Very well done. You've capture the dark essence I was hoping to see in all the poems. Reading this, I felt that the two rictameters, if separated, would be able to stand and hold purpose, but when placed together, the tone and mood are even better, which I enjoy in double rictameters.
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Aye, when I was taught rictameters, it was told to me that they, like haiku/ senryu chains should each be able to stand on their own yet still connect well within the entire piece. I am glad to see that you noticed this! Thanx for the great contest and the shiny-purty
looking forward to the next one!
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very nice--a dark fantasy, I must read it a few more times I am just enjoying it. Reflective too!
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Very nice. I like the background. I don;'t see how it is dark though. You are a fine poetess
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beautiful
thoughts spilled, what better beauty?
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A double rictameter is acceptable
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