Got a disturbing call today
A best friend went from teen
to mother, to prostitute.
what happened?
I wasnt there to help her
I wasnt there to see her through.
Now she runs her corner
Now she has no children
Now she is not the girl i knew.
She became a prostitute
I've lost a friend
her children lost a mother
Her mother lost a daughter.
and all we can do is hope and pray
she runs her corner down at store 24
she lives at the crackhouse down on Keith Hill Rd.
Sex for drugs, sex for money,
Now all shes got is a sold out body.
Her soul is no longer her own
It is every dollar that was made.
In her corner on the street is where she now stays.
Author notes
today i just found out a good friend has turned to prostitution
A contest entry
- +I'm a question to the World, Not an answer to be heard+ by Forgot2Breathe.
300 points, ended June 1, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow me out of the water by Soul Reaper -Crow-.
450 points, ended June 18, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories Of My Past. by fallenangel671.
800 points, ended May 31, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite me! ~~ One day only ~~ 500 points to Gold, will be judged tomorrow. by Naridill.
625 points, ended September 28, 2007, 145 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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untasteful.. seems a friend had no where else to turn and not sure what you are implying with this piece.
Much luck
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I love the poem, but the situation is definately not favorable. Very descriptive! I love the emotion you portray. "Her soul is no longer her own" -- its true. So true. Great write.
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This is a very well done poem. I love it lol. It really is your friendds loss. She shouldn't have done something like that. Excellent poem
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excellent poem
this does suit the contest well,
even if it wasnt what i was looking for,
good luck in the contest
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
omg wow
thats horrible
but the poem is wonderful.
I applaud you, but your friend not so much.
Good Luck!
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Not bad. You might want to look at your use of punctuation and capitalization. You might also want to rethink having several lines in a row start with the same word-it gets a bit repetitive. Such a sad yet all too true situation. It hasn't happened to me yet, and I hope it doesn't ever. (Have a friend that turns to that sort of thing, I mean.)
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This is was really well done.
I've lost a friend
her children lost a mother
Her mother lost a daughter.
Those are my favorite lines. It shows the loss from the different points of view.
I also like the way the title really reflects how it was HER loss.
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well done
i like the metaphors - "Sold out body" - well done. it speaks a lot about a world most people refuse to recognise.
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