In a world of complete chaos,
Of entire misery, and no choice,
You live along with no aim;
And your only dream you can't claim.
In my world of complete mystery,
Of careless hope, and clueless tragedy,
I live my life with no hope;
And my only wish, it can't cope.
In your world of complete loss,
Of inner suffering and plain gloss,
You live alone with no fear;
And it's not the end to shed a tear.
If just our worlds gathered along,
Would we be able to sing one song?
Can we share it for eternity,
With no more suffering or misery?
Author notes
Though the answer is Pathetic, I'll attach a link soon when i finish its poem...
For "TheSpork Princess."---MY Display Mame: GloriousGift
Note for "Virgoan": Plz if u don't like the background tell me, coz it looks as plain ones & I tried to change it but everytime there's an error msg so i'll change it later when i come back...thnx alot for ur nice contest..
A contest entry
- Poetry by SandraMVeinot.
380 points, ended May 14, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - whatever you want by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended October 1, 2007, 119 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended September 28, 2007, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: Hit me With your Best Pre-write. by edit my world..
425 points, ended October 20, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let's Make Magic! by stylization.
800 points, ended April 26, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1666 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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A lot to consider in this piece. I enjoyed it.
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Thnx for comment, much appreciated
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An answer?
Thanks for your comment on Ego, much appreciated.
As for yours? How can the hope or the dream or the wish survive in a world of chaos? By writing down and expressing yearning for these things, asking other people the same questions you ask yourself. Sending the question 'out into the world' however you do it keeps it alive as others reach their own answers. And knowing others share similar fears whatever their circumstances means that however much people can feel it, we are never, ever alone.
Your poem asks the questions some feel to embarrassed to ask themselves or others, and in doing so has the potential to give hope to others too, that hearts that feel are everywhere in a harsh surface world. It's general enough to allow people to relate their own experiences to it, and specific enough to touch the feelings every human being has.
Nice work
I wouldn't suggest improvements. I'd say its honest and it's fragile, and the way to improve is to simply write the next poem, and the next one.
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Thnx alot for your comment.
I was totally impresssed by it.
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Lord
Is there really such a place? In my world where things are more important then people I must say I wonder. But you are the future and must never lose focus poet.
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This was a really wonderful poem.. The flow was nice and the emotion in your words were really haert felt..
I really enjoyed reading this.. thank you very much for sharing.. Best of luck..
Angel
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I love it! the rhyme works well, and the idea of it is beautiful. i'll consider this for the hm/bronze in my contest! thanks for entering and best of luck.
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An excellent composition---well versed with good flow an unforced rhyme--Well Done!
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This one goes back a ways - always nice to recycle golden oldies and give new poets a chance to read them. Like to return the favor and come across these archived writes. LOL Liked the rhythm, rhyme and flow in these lines. Like the question you ask at the end too. Can we share a world together with no more suffering or misery? Many would say no.
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Thanks alot for your sweet comment...
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I really enjoyed the first half of this poem. The flow of the words were sweet to say aloud and the messages much stronger.
John -
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Glad you enjoyed it
Heba
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a very intresting write Thanks for your entry and good luck.
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Very up beat and contemporary. Nicely written
This reminds me of my poem "Question of questions" of which I already remove from this site.
Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing fellow poet.
>>>VIRGOAN
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Very well written I will read this again.
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Great questions on life.. and it is such a mystery the way the world works.. great write, good luck and thanks for entering!
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Fear
I wish I was aas brave as you to live alone with no fear. My life has been so rough that sometimes I can't help getting fearfull!! -
Lets sing
Would we be able to sing one song?.......Yes let,s sing ....the last stanza is remarkable ...keep this ..
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Yeah, let's sing........Thnx alot for commenting
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The office is quiet today so I could read this one aloud.
Wonderful.
John -
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Kool
thnx for comment
Heba
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Wow!!!
I've only been writing poetry for a few months, but I'm learning a little more each day. That is such a beautiful piece. My favorite stanza is~
In your world of complete loss,
Of inner suffering and plain gloss,
You live alone with no fear;
And it's not the end to shed a tear.
Thank you for commenting on my poem, Away It Flew.
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BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENCORE!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOOOOVED THIS PEICE!! Thanks alot for your entry...and this poem was just so amazing. And so ironically, that the pure and simple truth can be so amazing. Thanks again for this awesome entry
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Niiiiice!
Ah, a message of hope...very nicely written. I liked the tight rhyme scheme.
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Passionately Written
It takes all kinds to make the world go around...but just as you have expressively penned...it takes a similar thought process to pose a comparable question and when we can altogether resonate in synchronization, we can take part in a beautiful result...as one...
^j^Honesty Abounds
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Excellent
This poem cries out with the need for all man kind to live side by side in love and peace know that here I stand beside you in that hope. I could not even begin to feel the fears of people that live so close to all these wars. all I can do is pray that one day they will all end and the powers to be see that in life we all want the same thing to live without fear and to love one another living together under the same sky without wars. to me this poem is fantastic and another voice crying out to be heard. all my best wishes Brian. Love and peace always.
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Its a very well writen poem, one thing I dont like is that you ask a question and then leave it there stranded....
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This is a wonderful piece. I like it.
Good luck -
Thank you for entering the contest.
Nice job on this.
Good Luck. -
great write. it would be good if we could all sing just ne song...
well done with this piece
cheers
Jen -
Awesome thoughts you have penned extremely well. The ending is just perfect. Well done.
Jeannie
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Nice, well done - thought provoking, inquisitive, and captivating even. Nice use of punctuation too. Good job!
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Excellent piece you have penned here! So very well expressed, the emotion here is very powerful and filled with angst. Great form, bringing each stanza's thought to the next. This is one of those poems that leave me captivated; wondering of my own thoughts...
And the final stanza:
"If just our worlds gathered along,
Would we be able to sing one song?
Can we share it for eternity,
With no more suffering or misery?"
Poignant!
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Thanks alot for your comment..
Such a great comment indeed..
Love you..
GloriousGift
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good luck in the contest with this thought provoking write, it woul dbe great if we could live without suffering in the world but unfortunately i cn not see this every happening.
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Thanks dear for comment.. I really do hope life gets better as we go by..
You know what!!
It's YOU & our Beloved Family that makes life worth the while..Thanks for everything
GloriousGift
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I found this really sad and dark. You have done a great job. Thank you so much for entering and good luck in my contest. Bravo
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excellent
good poem great peom stupendous poem i spelt poem wrong and spelled and what does stupendous mean???? anyway good poem and i liked it alot
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