it's kind of a famous cliche- the way i live my life everyday
i don't really like the person i've become
but i hate the person i used to be even more
i listen to people's problems
and i try my best to solve them
and when i can't it's my fault
it's a trait that sometimes gets me into trouble
and it's a trait that makes me so much of who i am and always will be
so i can't bring myself to hate it
~i also start things and never get around to finishing them~
i keep my cool around people
i get along with them
just so they won't know i hate them
but when i break,
i lash out
and rage fills the air
my air
air no one can really claim
but it's there all the same
school is a pointless endeavor
it's beyond the point of annoyance or mere disinterest
the people in my town-in my school-aren't my kind of people at all
and i dread getting up
at six o'clock in the fucking morning
just to go there everyday.
*oh joy*
~i procrastinate with pretty much anything i do~
i really do try to get along with mom and dad
because their marriage is just so picture perfect
and i want to be exactly like them when i grow up
i want to love my kids the same
never ever scream at my spouse
and i always want to look at things with reason
*and now you've been introduced to my best friend Sarcasm*
~i'm not always sure of myself or what i do~
i fell in love with the wrong boy
for much, much too long
and the other day he got mad at me
as he always does
and i'm glad that i didn't call him back
to apologize for his anger
like i've always done in the past
i'll let him think he got the last
"fuck you" as he hung up the phone
but i know i'm the strong one
because i don't need him anymore
but the memories, good and bad, will stay with me
he helped shape me into this person i am
and i'm thankful for it
*most of the time*
but i can't believe i fell so deeply in love with him
or maybe it
i'm still not sure what it was that i was in love with
~i want more than anything to find a picture perfect romance,
but i know better than anything else
that love doesn't look like it does in stories or movies~
i'm tired of screwing everything up
and i wish i knew how to stop myself
and make the right decisions
but it seems even when i do think everything out
it blows up in my face
again
so what's the point?
why not just prove everyone right
-that i do fuck everything up-
instead of trying so damn hard to prove them wrong?
~i don't like to say my life is hard
because i know i'm just blowing everything way out of proportion
but sometimes i just don't care~
i worry about my brother
whether he's actually going to make something of his life
or just throw it all away
as i'm so tempted to do everyday.
but i want so badly to lean on him
and be friends with him
but i'm not
~i don't like feeling stupid~
i get jealous of other girls
other girls that are prettier
get along with their family
have better grades that i can't seem to earn
or girls that have more self control than me
and have an amazing boyfriend
or maybe
just maybe
they're happy
~and i'm the one that has no right to any of that~
every look i take in the mirror is disgusting
because any ounce of food in my system
is a failure for the day
and that's when i lose control of my razor in the shower
and bloods slips through my silence
*i don't even feel it
and i don't even like it
but i like the pretty scar it leaves behind
in only one direction
any other would ruin the pattern*
so you see,
it's not really about ((my)) individuality
because i gave up trying to keep that in check a long time ago
i don't really care if you think i'm original
because i'm not
i'm probably just like your own best friend
no, it's not about something that's mine
it's about the things i have
that i don't want
that make me .i.n.d.i.v.i.d.u.a.l.
it's how i handle my life
with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye
and deal with this at the same time
there's my individuality
.take.it.or.leave.it.
[[please don't leave]]
A contest entry
- Identity by Escape--.
300 points, ended May 11, 2007, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
and when it comes down to it, we're all exactly the same.
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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exactly. Not one word you said in this poem could be different from me. I loved it. with all my heart. if it were longer it would be my life.
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thanx =] i'm glad you can relate
<33
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I had left a rather lengthy comment , but for some reason it did not post. Anyway , just wanted to say that I enjoyed the way you took "non-individuality" and somehow still were able to make it own [your thoughts in regards to so many different things] thereby turning it around and makig it your own....and becoming by thst process "your individuality". I hope that makes sense...it is eaely am
best wishes in the contest,
reenie
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lol ooh i hate wen that happens. =\
anyway, thanks for your comment. haha and i think i got what you mean. lol
thanks again♥♥
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Forgot this!!!
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lol thanx. i'm glad it helped you out.
♥
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OH MY GOD!! I've been trying to express how I've been feeling lately, but I've got terribley bad writer's block and it's not working. However, you have said just about everything there!!!
This is a fantastic piece!! So open and honest.
I know it's part of the rules not to lie, but I still have to applaud your openness (if that's a word).
Great write!
You've really inspired me... Thank you!
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'i' needs capitalising. This was a good poem, if a sad one, describing yourself
Pozo
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thanks. and yea, i don't really like to capitalize very much. lol i guess you noticed. idk it's just my style. but thanks for the input.
amanda♥♥
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WoW! What an intense poem. Its really good.
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wow, this was great
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thanks. ♥
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so you see,
it's not really about ((my)) individuality
because i gave up trying to keep that in check a long time ago
i don't really care if you think i'm original
because i'm not
i'm probably just like your own best friend
-->never hide who you are, nice sentiment. i fell in love once..& never fell out. i can relate to wondering what exactly the hell it is that girl has that you don't. great piece, luck in this contest
xoxo,
-->lys<--
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thank you, i appreciate it. it's nice to know you relate.
amanda♥♥
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i fell in love with the wrong boy
for much, much too long
and the other day he got mad at me
as he always does
and i'm glad that i didn't call him back
to apologize for his anger
like i've always done in the past
i'll let him think he got the last
"fuck you" as he hung up the phone
but i know i'm the strong one
ACK.
baby
I understand....
alot.
realllyyy.
This hurt to read.
you're amazing.
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=] aww thanx. lol glad you liked it. ♥♥
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=] aww thanks. lol i'm glad you liked it. ♥♥
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this is aweosme becuase iti s like i am readi na poem about myself. thank you for help ing to relize what I am too through this peom. i really love it.
"there's my individuality
.take.it.or.leave.it.
[[please don't leave]]"
beautiful ending. oh my gosh. jsu tthank you so much for lettying me read this. keep up the good work. cant wait to read more of your peoms.
*MEgan*
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thanxx. it's good to know you relate. thanx again <3
amanda♥
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Awesome poem. Tell me, how in the world do you manage to get 20 views in 3 hours? I've been writing this bloodly play now for four months and my act II as only 2 views and one comment from Steven
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thanx. lol i have no idea. =\ sryy
ill check it out later tho haha -
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I was just kidding, you get a lot of views and comments because you're a great poet.
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lol well u are too. haha idk sometimes i get like 500 comments on one poem and like 4 on the other. so yea. =]
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