Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

~Mr. Puppeteer~

Sweet child,
meek and mild,
a marionette,
to dance for him,
a minion
for manipulation.

Branded,
stranded servant
            d
        a
      n
        g
            l
              i
          n
        g
from string...

...pretty plaything...

for pouncing paws
of  a putrid puppet master.

Corded to
corruption,
no control
of her own
direction.

Losing balance,
but bravely
trying to stand
on her own two feet,
far away
from his filthy hands.


Author notes

Option title - Mr. Puppeteer

The way that little ones who lose their innocence must feel.

3. sorrow (Has to be really deep)

-Ink Artist-
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/33551045/?qo=41&q=puppet&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • DeepDarkDesire
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I miss this kind of poetry

    It's rare to find a poet who can write such things as this anymore. I love the scheme, love the vocab, love the Lexus, love the flow and love the depth. It's simple-welcome to the finalists


  • EvenStarsBreak--x
    May 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow... this is a lot different from others poems that i've read... good job and thanks for entering my contest... ^-^


  • yesterdaysfeelings-
    May 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great poem. thankyou for entering my contest and goodluck.
    -fabulousmistakes.


  • lysdarling
    May 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great vocabulary. this is is a wonderful piece
    "Branded,
    stranded servant
    d
    a
    n
    g
    l
    i
    n
    g
    from string...
    ...pretty plaything...
    for pouncing paws
    of a putrid puppet master"
    --these are my favorite lines..kind of reminds me of Aerosmith's video for their song "jaded"


  • Exodus gold member
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Innocence is a flighty thing. Sometimes I wonder if it is a cruel joke, we are given innocence with life but we lose it long before we die.
    I liked this, it was unique and it looked like you really spent a fair bit of time on the presentation. It was nice to see someone who worked not only on that but also on the wording, including aliteration and in-line rhyme. It worked beautifully. Thank you very much, this was fantastic.


  • SoulJourney
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really amazing poem, Lori. Strong imagery and meaning, dark but with a sort of anxious hope for her. Charlynn


  • SurelyWritten
    May 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Lori, wow, this is fantastic. This is one of my favorites. I like the content, dark but not cliche. You took this and kept it original. The structure is perfect, stunning, simple. I love the flow and the alliteration. This is fantastic Lori, I love it. I've missed reading your works.

    -S


  • elemental angel
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow such sadness captured by your words almost haunting. Great use of imagery and wonderful flow. Best of luck in the contest and keep up the great work. Bravo


    • -Ink Artist-
      April 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the sweet comment, Poetesse! Much appreciated!


      ~Lori


  • Frozentearz
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well you have brought the puppett a voice
    a very haunting one but perhaps that is because it is so much of a reality, sigh.. Amazing work truly one that makes you feel as if you are there,
    Your talent shines.
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • Cannonsfire
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So strong the imagery in this, amazingingly powerful and so sad to think so many are left in this state. Love, C


  • WolfHeart
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    What a punch

    As a female who has encountered this all her life, I say Kudos!!
    Sometimes rhyme just works, as in this case.

    hugs Wolfie

  • FindingFate
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme is fine. I just don't care for simple, end line rhyme. This is brilliant as usual. Thank God that he gave us a way out of the pain. That when we seek him the right way, we can be healed of it. Thanks for entering.


  • Kari gold member
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was so very sad, but yet I can relate to this poem in a personal sort of way. It was very touching. The best of luck to you in the contest.


    • -Ink Artist-
      April 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Kari! Sadly, I relate to it personally, too. Thanks for reading hun!


      ~Lori

1 - 19 of 19