the shining[glam]stars
were high in the [plastic] sky
illuminating him as he lit
his cigarette outside with the chill.
--a little nicotine, a little pretty heroine--
[but shh...dont tell her...]
she watches him from across the{broken}street
and shes tripping on the feeling
pounding in her heart[her body]
shes a{drugged}disaster-
popping pills coated with glitter.
they meet here in his darkened room
he reaches for her
racing nicotine kisses across her lips
/caressing thighs/fracturing will;;
brusies forming[beautiful]scars.
scars on her wrists meet the cracked;black;;nailpolish
on her bleeding finger tips
--trailing blood across his body--
but their bodies are |drugged with| liquor;;nicotine;;
sex && fabulous lies[misunderstood]
[but shh...dont tell her...]
his hands are brutal
his illegal taste;;intoxication
*he's taking her higher*
d i s l o c a t i n g limbs as her body strains for more
&& they're wrapped up in their fantasies
of their love tearing at the g|r|o|u|n|d
wrapped up in the vortex of sweat[sex]& sound
the bottle of liquor;pain;&chaos
they shared only hours before
lays empty[forgotten]rolling
across the cold(tiled)floor.
&& it just burns on the inside[out]
their bodies resisting;;relaxing
as they become lost in the deepening |darkness|
shes a drugged disaster-
breathing in his bad habits
[the ones she already has enough of]
he's intoxicating her;;
giving her pills coated with [beautiful]glitter
he's her source-her[oh so]silent addiction.
[but shh...dont tell her...]
M. M. O'Malley
4-15-07
12:03a.m.
Author notes
options 1 & 3
#6
ShesNoPrettyLady--x
♥©
A contest entry
- Make It D.i.r.t.y. dark or ^^pretty^^ by AshliiAsphyxiation.
550 points, ended April 17, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - IT WONT TAKE MUCH TO GET [HOOKED ON ME] (options) by juliex-exotic shine.
350 points, ended October 20, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be My Dirty(Pretty) Little Secret by Epilogue.
700 points, ended October 22, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty Contest by Innocent Evil.
700 points, ended January 5, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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No just, everything.
This poem is absolutely outstanding, it makes me want to make up a language just to give a comment in it to explain how beautiful and intesne this poem is. I LOVE the idea of the [ ] 's it's completely original and to your own style- I love the line - "shes a{drugged}disaster-
popping pills coated with glitter."
And I will bookmark this poem. It's amazing! SO amazing!
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this was wonderful in my eyes.
great job here and see that others sure thought it worthy of something.
best wishes
tory
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thanks very much.
happy you liked it.
♥
always
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wonderful poem!
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thanks much sweetie.
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omg
i love it, the wording is amazing and the composition is whole, like a story.
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thanks very much for the comment.
it made me go back and read this one. it's been a long time since i've read it.
and this actually has a whole story behind it. it's completely true. you're the first to pick up on it too. =]]
thanks again doll
♥ -
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cool
lol, no problem
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his illegal taste
i love that line
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thanks very much for the comment.
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Wow. I thought this was captivating. I really like the gentle repetition and the adjectives you used. It was really well put together. I like the connotations and emotions of the piece. Thanks for the entry.
elizabeth -
woah
that's all i can say..is woah. i love this one too. i can't believe how real that felt reading it. it's like it was part of my life too. oh wow. i got ideas for a new poem from you. i told you your my inspiration :]]
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have i told you lately that i love you?
i'll always be here for you baby and thank you for being here for me too.
♥ ♥
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Haha you used the same picture I used in the contest to inspire my poem [Do you think i'm pretty baby?]...thats cool how different we can write about the same picture. This is fabulous...congrats on the bronze. I really loved this part:
they meet here in his darkened room
he reaches for her
racing nicotine kisses across her lips
/caressing thighs/fracturing will;;
brusies forming[beautiful]scars.
scars on her wrists meet the cracked;black;;nailpolish
on her bleeding finger tips
--trailing blood across his body--
Great write hun...I'm reading more of your dirty pretty writes and considering adding you to my family as you requested. This is a great piece of work dollie, I love it!
CCX -
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thanks for the comment darling and congrats on the silver as well.
i used the picture at the head of the contest as well. the liquor and the cigarettes. so yeah. im glad you liked it. my favorite lines in here were [but shh...dont tell her...] and a little nicotine, a little pretty heroine.
yeah its my own poem, but we all have our favorite parts.
ive read some of your other stuff and loved it. it will be great to be in your dirrty/pretty famdamnily. lol!
thanks again.
LovexAlwaysxinxChaos
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whoa...
this is brilliant darling
xox
thanks for entering and good luck -
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thank you!
and thank you for the bronze. im very happy with it.
[[Chaos]]
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♥
I hope you win
<3333
~Princess of Shadows~ -
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i hope i win too.
♥Love
[[Chaos]]
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