Where once lay the pigments
Of your devotion
Dull white-wash remains.
Where once fine brush strokes
Trumpeted your appreciative lover’s eye
Now only bare nothingness remains
At the height of our love
You painted me your Mona Lisa
Touting me as the only person
Who ever touched your core.
But as time passed
You degraded our passion
With secrecy and lies
Until the portrait no longer represents either of us
and all that is left
are
Sketch marks of an artist's love
Sunday, April 15, 2007
A contest entry
- Un-Whole - One Day Contest by CarolDesjarlais.
525 points, ended April 16, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow, what an amazing way to express the emptiness after a relationship ends. This rolls on so smoothly that I was at the end before I even knew it. Very well done. Keep up the good writing!!
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Sadness seeps through these words
staining a canvas with shades
of loss and meaning and devotion
that no longer exists...
beautiful..
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Perhaps you should have entered that in the contest. Its speaks with the tongue of experience and understanding. Your comment is as beautiful as the poem.
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Lost love..unwholeness...we carry the stretch marks with us forever - and how well you've applied the metaphor here. I'm so happy to have discovered this poem today because it definately showcases your artistic talents. I would have prefered to see this poem left aligned as I think it would add more impact - but that is just my personal preference, lol. I do hope to read more of you as this was beautiful.
~ Nicolette
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Ah, such a sad vision you painted here..loved the stretch marks metaphor. Excellently done, congratualtions.
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Again the theme of unqholenss scribbles itself across the page, like aplea for help ... amzing writes in this contest already and this is a contender.
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Oh Gorgeous, simply as stated and such descript emotons of how ones self and other half can fade over time...sad but awesomely penned....good luck!
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