Where are we going?
I don't know who you are.
You are a stranger in this car.
How do we find our destination,
without a map?
This is all in
our imagination;
we invented this trap.
Are we together?
For worse or for better.
Maybe the end is in sight.
But how do we see,
with no light?
we can't keep driving
into the night,
in this car with no headlights.
A contest entry
- Dramatic Monologue by Andantino.
475 points, ended May 21, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP’s Crap Poetry~ For Malabu (Doubled Points) by Malabu.
1400 points, ended October 15, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cruise Control by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended October 28, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your unmetered rhyme is pedestrain, but I like the allusion to marriage through the phrase "for better or worse" to be clever. You do a good job of alluding to a newlywed couple just beginning their lives together, not knowing where they will end up in twenty or forty or sixty years. Thanks for entering.
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sounds like a married couple and the male thing of insistant thoughts of knowing where he is going...even though he has no clue...without light...they are destined to a journey of argument and lost cause. delightful rhyme...and thought good luck in the comp
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The metaphor you have you used here fit the emotion perfectly. Thank you for entering the contest.
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mystery tour
Made me smile this whimsy tour in a car without headlights ..excellent , fun to read with a touch of mystery.
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Thank you very much.
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