Please tell me of the wild gull's cry,
when he painted heaven with his wings;
and the sound of breezes through the trees,
They say it was like a lullaby.
Please tell me of the touch of snow
they say was soft as a woman's breast,
and the murmur in the golden corn
caressed by the wind on a summer's day.
And what of the forests so green and lush
and the spotted deer so fleet of foot
the jeweled flowers that bloomed in spring,
and the birds that sang such melodies?
For oceans now gird so much of Earth
I have neither heard nor touched these things,
but I note by your age you must have been there
please talk to me sir, don't just nod your head.
I beg you sir with all my heart,
recount of the things that you recall.
A contest entry
- Dramatic Monologue by Andantino.
475 points, ended May 21, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I like the beautiful word pictures that have been painted and the light touch of humor at the end. It is nice to hear someone talk of things faraway and stir your emotions and your imagination. It is like asking the "ancient mariner" to talk. Keep writing. Great job.
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Excellent monologue with expressive verse infused.
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quite dramatic
I enjoyed this form, it is as a pleading ,this flowed with expectations and mirth; creative metaphores and with a touch of whimsical heart ache ..originality and
a conincing dramatic overture.. quite wily ..
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very nicely written
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Beautiful
Have you ever heard anything more sweet than the mistic song of a beatiful pome? This is just what poets should be writting, not that I am closing my mind to freestyle poems, just that they should still practice more of what you have just shown us. Great write, never let the pen drop.
--Darkkitty
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This is actually very good, Di! Maybe I shouldn't say, "actually" as you routinely release very good stuff, but it was the first thing into my head. This is very good, though. I like the naturalistic and open feel to it, coupled with that wistful longing for simpler times. Times like those spent on that beach with him, whoever he might be. Very good! One of your better ones! - oce
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Very well penned,and good use of words.It makes a write stand stronger if more unusual words are used!
Thanks for sharing. Rose -
oh wow the imagery, you speak of a world in panaramic, and with a tinge of that mind saddness of someone whom has never seen them, only imagined to his (her) future, a great contrast that is very effective, and so thanks for the views of your beautiful mind -jas
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You are obviously so very aware of every facet of Mother Nature in all her glory. The opportunities are endless for imagery, emotion and expression when using nature as a tool to build up a picture. You have done that very well here.
The first stanza of your poem is the beginning of a beautiful journey through your artistic talent, lending itself to your reader to decipher and enjoy.
Well done.
~Katie~
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wow, i liked this piece alot... ot as it was amazing... truly inspiring ... keep up the great wrok.. and i cant wait to read more of this
Krissy -
oh, I like this very much. It's lyrical, haunting, and very very pretty. Good job!
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this was an interesting write. I see you've been busy the last few days. my pen hasn't warmed up yet but I'm hoping it will soon.
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I like how you personify nature. Did you have a first "Do You Recall" that it is named (2)?
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Great
So peachful a graceful. Mt faveorite part was:
For the oceans now gird so much of this earth
I've never heard or touched these things,
and I note by your age you must have been there
please talk to me sir, just don't nod your head.
That stanza was really rich. Great job and best of luck in your writing future.
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You have met the mandate for the criteria of the contest to write dramatic dialogue well,though as there is no exchange of the character being spoken too this is in essence a monologue.It is well written,imagery has clarity and there is intensity of emotion that borders on passion,well done and good luck in the contest
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I have never been able to grasp the use of nature in poetry. Perhaps I am not in tune with Mother Nature. Perhaps I am just ignorant.
In any event, I have learned from this piece. Nature is around. . .I need to take a look.
Brava!
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I like it! It's so full or images and yearning and a thirst for knowledge. I'm rather partial to the first stanza, but perhaps that's because I love the sea so much. Anywhen, it's a good write!
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Hello Lyndon,
May I have a spot?
Brazos
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It is reserved, sweetheart.
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