Suffocation breaks into your double sided take on the world.
Proving it to you was all you said it takes.
And I was trying my hardest not to let you in.
Not letting you see how much this was just pinching,
pinching already open wounds,
that you carved with other sickly words.
Moonlight rains over your hair,
I watch as it looms through each strand,
making each shine out more than the next.
I pulled you into me, and we touched.
Not only was it electric, it was gentle, the way I always wanted it to be.
It was soft like your lips and your hair,
and you made me soft because your words passed double sided love notes to me.
Nervousness taps into my system,
because I’ve never kissed you before,
never wanted to explore, implore, you before.
But now that’s all I want,
and you don’t seem to want it.
How can I show you when you refuse to open your eyes?
You just pretend you can’t see me so that you won’t have to deal with it.
Those double sided moods stabbed deeper than paper cuts you sliced me with.
Letters that I write,
letter after letter.
No matter which letter it is, you don’t like it.
If it’s spiral, or curly, or straight edged.
You can’t make up your mind.
Sometimes it’s the letter j,
because it takes you to a different edge, and curls up when it doesn’t want you to see.
And you just can’t handle not being able to see,
but seeing me is just too unreal.
You are unreal and double sided, and that’s curled and hidden.
I wished you would take me,
but I wasn’t ready for this twofaced act.
I cried until there was no more water left in my draining body.
And you happily hung me out to dry on your spinning clothesline.
I slipped farther and farther out of your clothespins until your words couldn’t hit me.
And you were upset that you couldn’t wrinkle me like you used to.
And that I wasn’t there to hit or scream at or punch or kick or hug.
And for a moment I was glad, that I wasn’t everything that you needed.
But your double sided love was more than just a build up and a let down.
Author notes
Leland is definitely my influence. Just finished his movie. Definitely in love.
A contest entry
- Raw and aching on a Summer's day by Barbie.
650 points, ended April 30, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
The United States of Leland P. Fitzgerald:
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hi there, thanks for entering my contest. What a great last two lines. I like the way you use conceptual imagery, but sometimes you write too much - you tell me too much. I can guess 'and you don’t seem to want it.', so it doesn't need to be there - this line adds nothing. 'Nervousness taps into my system', however, is an amazing phrase. You really do write with a depth of beauty. I can see aching, and, I suppose, raw, in here. What's more, I can see character, individuality and originality. Often, that's what counts. Good luck in my contest. Barbie. Xx
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Wow
Ok I am glad that this is a movie and not real because I have been in a situation something sort of like that and it ain't fun! It was wonderfully written! -
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Mostly inspired by his way of talking and his story. Definitely one I'll remember.
Thanks so much for your uber nice comment.
Tori
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"Sometimes it’s the letter j,
because it takes you to a different edge, and curls up when it doesn’t want you to see.
And you just can’t handle not being able to see,
but seeing me is just too unreal.
You are unreal and double sided, and that’s curled and hidden."
whoa whoa whoa!!
that part is brilliant..it shines to me
its something new I've never seen
using letters to describe people
also..I got a wonderful image with this
"I slipped farther and farther out of your clothespins until your words couldn’t hit me."
yea...thats amazing..A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
so..yea..great job..and that ending is from our earlier conversation
wahoo!
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I know, because it's /you/ who inspires me. You inspire me in everyway and I love you for that.
Thank you for always being there for inspiration.
<3<3,
Toreh
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