No.
I Will Not Relent To Your Bitter-Sweet Words.
Never Live With Loss.
Never Live With Fault.
Survive The Best I Can.
Yeah, I Think I'll Do That.
I'm No Mortal Man,
Flaws Big Enough For Anyone To See.
I'm Broken,
As You Can Easily See.
Yet Hear Me Falter These Words To You.
I've Suffered Through It All.
Pain, Heartbreak, Defeat, Agony.
You Name It, I've Had It.
But That Won't Stop Me.
No.
With This Air I Choke Upon,
I Still Push To The Edge.
I Cement My Beliefs
In A Stone For Everyone To Read.
" Remember The Taste Of My Tongue After I've Taken A Life.
Place It Between Your Lips And Bite Down.
Let The Bitter, Bloody, And Cold Taste Run Into Your Mouth.
This Will Be Your Last Taste Of Me "
Author notes
Just Some Weird Shit I Threw Together.
Based Most of it off of All That Remains - " The Air That I Breathe "
Barbed Wire
A contest entry
- Options For Angst Writers by BarbedWireButterfly.
750 points, ended April 20, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You Make Me Sad.
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interesting. i see a lot of the lyrics in this poem. dw it's fine. nice emotion and concept. oh and read the rule 8. sorry, please put it there soon as I would like to start judging and you won't place unless it's there. thank you for entering and good luck
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"With This Air I Choke Upon,
I Still Push To The Edge.
I Cement My Beliefs
In A Stone For Everyone To Read.
" Remember The Taste Of My Tongue After I've Taken A Life.
Place It Between Your Lips And Bite Down.
Let The Bitter, Bloody, And Cold Taste Run Into Your Mouth.
This Will Be Your Last Taste Of Me ""
Yet another awesome piece;;
and I like how you capitalize every word.
Good piece Daniel <33
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This has some intense and powerful imagery..I love the morbid metaphors..they really get the point across..~Pastel
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I found the words "relent" and "falter" to be forced and a little jarring.
~*Starr*~ xxx -
Hmmm ... Nice ...
Very interesting ... I liked the last part.
I know a little graphic but gets the point across. I also noticed the part about cementing your beliefs in stone for everyone to read ... if went together with the part about taking a life ... sorta like a epitaph (ok I have no idea how to spell that). Dark and metaphor laced I liked it! good writing!
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:)
oh, wow!!
that's the only thing i can think of ..."WOW"
my favorite part is
" Remember The Taste Of My Tongue After I've Taken A Life.
Place It Between Your Lips And Bite Down.
Let The Bitter, Bloody, And Cold Taste Run Into Your Mouth.
This Will Be Your Last Taste Of Me "
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