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Triangle Eyes

Our eyes locked in the sorrow space, it happened just by chance
It drained me to stay in that place, she had me in her trance
She penetrates deep with intense mesmeric glaring
We both didn't know why in hell we were staring
Surrounded by walls where the somber ones dwell
Her eyes were hypnotic, but she couldn't tell
I was hopelessly wrapped within her tight bind
And the reasons to why, I could not seem to find
My vision was foggy, my mind was unclear
In an upside-down world, so twisted and queer
When all this began, I did not realize
I was seeing the world through triangle eyes

Triangle eyes
Under rose-colored skies
So glad that I caught her
Before our goodbyes
Now there's no fading,
No tragic demise
Because I saw the world
Through triangle eyes

And now the world is upside-down, without a doubt or shame
'Cause everything is turned around, but really just the same
We knew where we were, no longer afraid
We were painting a scene in every shade
There's a cascade of colored rain that falls
Pouring life onto the dull greying walls
My thoughts had never crossed this change
But I've found it all isn't really that strange
What I had thought was confusion before
Is typically true, and not queer anymore
Above all the chaos and fear, we did rise
As we watched the world through triangle eyes

Triangle eyes
Under rose-colored skies
Release all the sickness,
Watch as it dies
Now we're just shining,
No chance of demise
And we're praying to God,
There will be no goodbyes
The clouds are all gone,
We are telling no lies
She came unexpected,
The lovely surprise
I'd been lost before
But I now recognize,
That she showed me the world
Through triangle eyes

 

Author notes

April 14, 2007... Here's the story behind this poem: I got put in an outpatient program at a hospital (for eating disorders, depression, masochism, etc.)... In this hospital, there were two rooms; the room we ate and did projects in, and the one for recreational activity. The inpatients and outpatients would switch rooms depending on what activity was going on (because we weren't allowed to talk to each other), and we would walk past each other every day. Then one day, there was this new girl in inpatient... I just looked at her and she caught my attension for some reason... I don't know why... we would just always stare as we walked past each other for no reason at all...

Then when she was released, she was put into outpatient and I finally met her... As I got to know her, I just started to admire her... She had this odd way of making everyone in the room smile... It was amazing. She was probably one of the most emotionally strong people I'd ever met...

I remember when she would ditch outpatient days and when she wouldn't show up, this wave of disappointment came across me... I would spend the morning check-ins just waiting and hoping for her to walk in...

When she came back, we broke the rules and started talking online... Then later, after we both were out of the hospital, I realized that I had a crush on her.

This is about the girl who turned me gay.

_______________________________________________________
"I read the rules"

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 42 of 42

  • Demitrius Pious
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    awww..this is wonderful! don't understand the triangle eyes part, but hey...poetic lisence!
    awesome job! i love it.


    • AutumnsFlame
      July 5
      Edit | Reply
      The title is "Triangle eyes" because one of the gay pride symbols is an upside down triangle.
  • SecretMe15
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this poem was alright. I honestly feel the rhyming was too much because it didn't flow too well, but my favorite stanza is the last one. That last stanza was almost perfect.

  • APoetViolinist
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Aw! I love it! Awesome write it made my heart melt a little! This is such an awesome experience and a friend of mine has found the same thing happen to her. I love your word choice and it flows great. I'm so glad you could find some sort of comfort even being in the hospital. Great write!

  • Ellis gold member
    December 14, 2007
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    Excellent Writing

    Sounds like a healthy relationship to me.
    --------------


  • Lonewolf2008 gold member
    December 10, 2007
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    quite a meeting and story to relate. success in the contest. thanks for sharing.
  • SecretMe15
    October 31, 2007

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    awww. this is a nice story if you really think hard while reading it. i mean. i'm not gay or bi or anything. i have a boyfriend that i love very much and have been with 5 months today but i believe that if the person can make you happy and you fall in love with the same sex then it should be okay. everyone should be allowed to be with whoever makes them feel good. so i hope you and your girlfriend last and make it in life together.


  • Ivy Claw
    October 3, 2007
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    I absolutely love this poem. It has left me speechless. N

  • KissGravity
    September 22, 2007

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    I am in love with a girl as well. And it's beautiful that you can find someone who can make everything so awesome and amazing. So perfect.

    This is amazing. Good luck.
  • OurxBeginning
    September 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting piece. I liked the colors you used in this and the repition of "triangle eyes". Your rhyming and flow were done very well, not forced at all. I also enjoyed the little story in the Author notes, gives the reader a better understanding. Thanks for entering and good luck.
  • MxA
    September 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well, first of all I want to congrat you for the 7 month thing, and your story is interesting indeed. Fate works in mysterious ways, and does things for a reason. I really enjoyed this write, it shows much inspiration and love. Thanks for entering and best of luck


    MxA
  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is just an amazing write I love it this.Im glad that you have each other and I hope that you are both doing well


  • UnityHope gold member
    September 20, 2007
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    absolutely beautiful!
    especially after i read your author notes!

    very well done and good luck!

  • liquidmindforever
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    FORMS CONTEST

    This is a FORMS CONTEST Plus options. You selected
    an option but you have not used one of the forms
    for the contest.
    Please try again.
    Thanks
    lmf

  • Lesbian-in-Love
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is very very beautiful. I loved it. I am happy for you two. I wish that would have happened to me when I was in a place like that. Great write and thanks for the reading. Also thanks for entering the contest and good luck!!


  • Dancing Marionette
    July 31, 2007

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    this is really beautiful. i love the imagery and language that you used. thanks for entering and good luck bby

  • DeepinRage
    July 31, 2007
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    Congratulations!!! I really like this poem and how it flows...


  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    July 21, 2007
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    Wonderful story here. At least you found someone worth giving your care and dedication too. I wouldn't worry about being gay/lesbian, don't let others get to you, they are pathetic individuals if this is all that they have to concentrate on in life. Glad you have someone special that you hold very dear and met in such a strange way.

  • Flames-of-Furey
    July 9, 2007
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    wow this is great The rhyme is spot on and unforced. It really captures the bond that you had with this girl it is just fantastic and the favorite line was when you put colours in to the grey walls loved that image where everything brightened up when your love was in the room. fantastic. congratulations this is great. good luck

  • She Has My Heart
    June 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I had to check out some of your stuff cos I checked out your page and you've so many trohpies in so little time! I saw this one had won 2 golds (and two other trophies!), I must say they are all very much deserved! I really liked this line:

    There's a cascade of colored rain that falls

    And the second stanza is my favourite I think. It flows and rhymes very well, it easily slips off the tongue (or the mind I suppose I should say). The incident you based this on is also very sweet and I am ever so pleased for you

    Anyway after reading this and your profile, I am even more chuffed that I managed to win gold in one of your contests, so again I thank you x

    Take care, must add you to my favourites now!! xxx


  • flesh and bone
    June 26, 2007
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    beautiful write, i really liked this, definately worthy of a trophy.

  • sublimewriter
    May 28, 2007

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    wow, an amazing poem. i've read some i love gay people poems and many are about how there should be tolerance, but your poem says it as it is. I thought the story about meeting the young woman in the hospital was intriguing. i worked in a hospital on the maternity ward and i haven't met someone who makes the people in the room smile. did she have a crush on you? do you have a screen name so i can hear more stories about your life? is there a sequel? g'luck in the contest
    sublime

    • AutumnsFlame
      May 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      In the hospital we were good friends, but she thought I was straight and so did I... it wasn't until one day when she decided to ditch the day program that I realized I was in love with her because I actually started crying! I thought she wasn't coming back... but she did... we talked for awhile online... she opened up to me... told me her secrets and her fears... I gave her advise.

      Then one day I told her. And she asked me out and said she was falling in love with me... it was sweet.


      There are many poems about her. I wrote the poem "Every Day" which is kind of a sequal to this because I wrote that in like the first week we were dating.

      You can IM me anytime.

  • DestinyGets-Nervous
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Definetly the best so far (don't tell anyone else that I said that) THis exactly what I have been looking for! You show your emotions through your words without really talking about them. Triangle eyes... who ever thought! Definetly a reflection of yourself. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!

    P.S. Could I get your screenname so I can rad somemore?

    -Destiny

  • XxDying InsidexX
    May 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    was she lesbian or bi?


  • Heartbeatsxfading
    May 9, 2007

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    Outstanding!

    This is a truely outstanding poem!!! I actually found it through the contest by rejected freak. Your poem was above mine so I checked it out! But anywho, the rhyme is perfect and the poem over all is amazing!! You deserved the place you got, but I also think you deserved a bit of a higher reward, but you know, you can't always controls the outcome. But I am curious, what does it mean, exactly, looking through Triangle Eyes? If I am correct, doesn't it mean that you are bi or such?

    • AutumnsFlame
      May 9, 2007
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      Yes, triangles stand for homosexuality... just like rainbows do. It's a gay pride symbol. And thank you for your kind words.

  • Rejected Freak
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was truly an incredible piece...It caught my heart-strings and just wouldn't let go. The message, the meaning, the emotion and rhyme..everything about it just blew me away...

    It left me staggering for a response. What could I say that would bring justice to such beautiful words?

    Very well written thank you for entering and GOOD LUCK in my contest.


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome write. It is very lyrical. This has a deep message in it. If only people will see it. Love comes from God and we don't always chose who we love. They can be just like us or totally different. It is our business who we love. This is a great experience you have shared so wonderfully with us. Well done. Thanks and good luck.

    Jeannie


  • Electric Sunrise Moderators member
    May 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It was the title that captivated my attention, and the poem that sealed it away. This is an excellent write, it's deep, it's meaningful it's full of power and emotion. It's truly a great write, magnificent even. Well done. Keep the pen to paper, you have massive potential


  • BeautifulDisaster9
    May 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Oh Em Gee.

    I LOVE THIS! I can relate to this on an extreme level, because I too have met someone in inpatient, and fallen for them. I hear you there, I hear you! The only thing is, that for me, that girl helped me realize I was gay. This is a truly amazing piece. Please, KEEP WRITING, YOU'RE TALENTED!

    <3BeautifulDisaster9

    P.S.-This is getting bookmarked and you're getting added to my fave's.


  • Sapphire Rose
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've always loved poetry based on true events. Rather hard to come by since it's all about death and love, hardly any of it something that really means much next to squat. This is no exception, 'tis something I really enjoyed taking time to read.

    I do believe you meant 'staring' instead of 'starring'. I had to laugh at that, sorry. Just the one mistake I could find, since it's really late and I really need to sleep. (Going on two nights without it. No idea why I just can't find dreamland. Must've lost the directions or something.) It also reminds me of some past relationships I've had, and may be about to delve myself into (thanks to some bloody friends of mine). All in all, an awesome write. Nicely done.

    Sweetest of dreams! ~D


    • AutumnsFlame
      April 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      AHHH CRAP! Damn you spellcheck, for not correcting that! Thank you for pointing out that mistake, it shall be fixed.

  • AprilAdoration
    April 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Omg, wow.
    This is sooooo perfect.
    I love the love snd the story it tells
    And it made me sad but kind of happy.
    This is just-- wow!
    I'll probably read it again and again!
    Good Luck and Thank you!
    [[ZombiNa]] &hearts

  • yourbentangel
    April 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this. Great job and thank you for entering. Good luck in the contes

  • Sun Singer silver member
    April 18, 2007

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    I enjoyed this write...it was...happy yet haunting. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest


  • Heavens Child
    April 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow..... this is a very powerful piece. You're flow and rhyming are very good. Good luck and thank you for the entry in my contest.

  • Tears and Raine
    April 16, 2007

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    Well, I love it. The sequel to the other poem? Beautiful. If it is, then reading it right after the other causes it to make much more sense. I congradulate you on such good writing skills and I love the imagery used in the poem. All in all, a beautiful write and thanks for entering it. Good luck!

    ~Raine~

    **Since you already know, I give you more invisible kudos because I'm that cool.

    • AutumnsFlame
      April 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You could say it's a sequal to the other one, since they are about the same person, and I did write this one after I wrote the first one... it's like an un-intensional sequal, and thank you again for your invisible kudos.

  • ItsJustPoison
    April 15, 2007
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    I really enjoyed your poem but I will be deleting my contest for the reason that people are misunderstanding the use of a oxymoron.

  • ItsJustPoison
    April 15, 2007

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    I really really enjoyed the background story on this piece me myself having had disorders and knowing what it's like... I also enjoyed how you met your current girlfriend it really touched me. The poem itself is also very amazing and heartfelt though kind of lengthy I didn't find myself getting bored or tired of it, because of the flow and word choice. Good job, and good luck in this contest!

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