Kokushibyou
a name whispered, a name feared
forged with volition and harnessed by hate
as I step onto the battle ground
the earth shakes
this is fate
elegant and devastating
a grin forms on my face
as the first of the horsemen
fall with grace
I am but a man
yet I am distinguished
as I swim through enemies
in a sea of dismemberment
and vanquished armies
for I am a product
of the weapon I wield
chosen for distance, chosen for power
even the deities have no shield
to escape the viciousness
of my great Naginata
Author notes
Naginata - the black death.
A contest entry
- Choose your weapon by Neophyte.
600 points, ended April 28, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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a very powerful and image-filled piece here. I enjoyed reading it a lot. congrats on the trophy! Great write, and very historical (and thats a good thing)
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your words are very powerfull..this was an amazing write!!! I really enjoyed it fantastic choice for a weapon!!!great write and I wish you the best of luck in this contest and keep writin
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This is a great poem I am placing you into the final round
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I liked it a lot. Very nice job.
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Well Written!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is very well written and although I am not knowlegable on this particular topic, the poem is very well structured and it flows nice along with being very well written!!!!Good luck in the contest!!!Toni~~
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awesome write up here! what does Kokushibyou mean though?
Also I don't know if it was your purpose or not but i liked how the separated lines from the stanzas creates its own stanza if put together
Kokushibyou (whatever it means)
This is fate,
I am but a man
For I am a product
of my great naginata (black death) <- which gives me the feeling of his helplessness of his weapon that will sooner or later plunge him to his own black death.
Thanks for entering, goodluck!
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your right, if you put them together it does form its own stanza, in fact without knowing it you got the exact meaning of it too, for Kokushibyou means - black death.
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