I bleed tears into the lake, a shadow of my former self
lost to all I loved and lived for, with all hope gone.
When did I lose myself in the maelstrom of love?
At first I was giddy with joy – but giddy soon becomes dizzy
Sick with apprehension I lost myself in you.
Pieces of me began to drift into the greater consciousness of us,
entwined and enmeshed there was no escape;
still I stayed, fading from sight,
blending into the background that put you in the spotlight
and becoming more invisible everyday.
Injured by your words I bled, silently in the dark.
Your love scooped me out and left me hollow,
with brittle bones to project and protect me,
no more myself only a reflection of you –
and it goes on endlessly.
I want to leave and make a fresh start,
I want to be myself again,
I want to aspire to the stars knowing I have a chance
I want those three years of my life back.
A contest entry
- Raw and aching on a Summer's day by Barbie.
650 points, ended April 30, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hi there, thanks for entering my contest. The emotion is there and there are some good, original images. The theme, however, isn't original (but that's okay, 'cause that's kind of what I asked for). There is, of course, the cliche image of 'bleed tears' in the first line, which puts me off almost immediately. I like the inclusion of the image in the final line. Good luck in my contest. Barbie. Xx
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Ms 'Southern Belle', give up the mills and boon reading, you are starting the live, think and breathe drama. Ha --- I like - thank you.
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