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Booger Etiquette 101

This is a topic that many find distasteful
Thus cringing at the mention of the word,
So, in an effort to alleviate considerable discomfort
I’d like to address what many find absurd.

You see, when these dried particles collect in our nose
To the point of being an embarrassing pain,
Then they must be extracted with the utmost care
Else your self-image may be terribly strained.

So, if you follow these simple precepts
When you next encounter these little bothers,
You should have absolutely no fears
Unless you disregard what I’ve instructed you to do
In which case, you’ll likely get some nasty jeers.

1. When extracting said waste from either nostril
Be certain it’s done well out of sight,
Else others will be appalled
By the bogey you’ve just hauled
And you’ll likely give them a fright.

2. When said bogey has been removed, graciously I assume,
Without fail you must properly dispose
Because no one cares to see
What you do with said bogey,
Especially if it came from your nose!

Author notes

22 lines of text

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • Heva Feva
    July 25
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    As soon as I read the title I knew I was in for a good read. LOL!! It was absolutely hilerious!

    Good luck and thanks for entering my contest!
    -heva


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    November 18, 2007
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    This is a hilarious poem. The imagery, much to my chagrin , is vivid and evocative. With regret, however, I will have to remove your poem from my contest, since you have already won a gold trophy for it. Please feel welcome to enter another, though. Thanks for entering!


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    September 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lots of trophies

    you have won a lot of trophies with this and thanks for sharing it and enetering it in my contest today. good luck.


  • tawk gold member
    July 29, 2007
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    Funny and very unique write Good luck and thanks for entering

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    July 26, 2007
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    Hehe I love this a poem about boogers.I never would of thought of writing about this cute and very funny thank you for your entry. Best wishes xxx


  • kiwikrazi37
    July 25, 2007

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    Wow, a rather weird topic, but it turned out great! I literally laughed so hard I had to go to the bathroom Nice work here, gross, but nice! Best wishes in the contest.


  • x Star Dust x
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Clearly, this has been honored as being good in many contest. congrats! I'd have to say, as gross as the subject is... You made me laugh! Nice job!


    Thanks for entering my contest, it's nice to have you in!


  • Jessi-desensytized
    July 20, 2007
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    HAHAHA this is funny... niice one!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This piece is good, not the aforementioned item, the poem, Clarifications are good and very necessary sometimes, hahaha...thanks for this entry into my contest. lol


  • Travis7
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is so funny
    i love it
    the topic is awesome
    Boogers
    your an awesome poet this is an awesome poem
    thanks a lot for entering into my contest
    GOOD JOB


  • Sam-I-Am
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty funny good luck in the contest
    Midnight

  • cirque du soleil
    June 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hahahah..
    i can't stop laughing!
    this is a great topic for a humorous poem, how to pick your nose! You're right, it is an art!
    The rhyme scheme is good.
    I had not planned to allow prewrites for option # 4, but my rules were not very clear, so i have allowed you to stay in the contest. Thanks for following the rest of the rules and best of luck!


  • Zeus the Woman
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the art of picking your nose. hahaha. never thought to write a piece about this, great idea thanks for entering.


  • Mekhala
    June 4, 2007
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    Thanks for the enty


  • storiesuntold gold member
    June 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting subject ha

    This was different and it was funny how you worded it
    good luck
    By the bogey you have just hauled
    In which case you might give them a freight


  • Dovina
    May 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Umm...

    Wow, I have no clue what to say to this. What inspired you to write a poem like this, and on boogers? Wow again. I leave stuff like this up to my little brother. LOL, cuz it seems that little kids like to do stuff with their boogers alot. Well, good luck in the contest! Peace out


  • agalford7053
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    eww!

    Very cute! There were a few awkward points but they were barley noticeable. The reader pays attention to the fact that your talking about boogies instead of those points. LOL! You did a great job! Thank you for the laugh!
    Great job!
    Ashley


  • Xsafety glassX
    May 22, 2007

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    omg...lot of contests...whew!! tokk FOREVER to get to the comment box...

    darn number 1...

    thanx for entering


  • xoxhanniexox
    May 12, 2007
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    Well that was.. rather interesting! Nice job :]

    Thanks for entering


  • Sock
    April 28, 2007

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    This is hilarious, and witty. I enjoyed reading it, it brought a smile to my face, great job and good luck.


  • AceOSpades
    April 25, 2007
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    Hehe very funny. I didn't like the shifting rhyme schemes... but I'm a sucker for a good goofy poem.... plus they tend to be more likely to get away with reachy rhymes due to their childish nature. Not reaaaally much of a narrative here, but it's quite amusing... and definitely deserves some recognition.


  • IndividualEleven
    April 21, 2007
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    pretty good well done and great rhyme too. - Jacen an IndividualEleven.


  • i-will-let-you-be
    April 20, 2007
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    Haha this is really funny, there really isn't an etiquette for booger picking. Good Job!


  • Erin200
    April 19, 2007
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    lol. Good job! I was laughing while reading the poem. Nice rules for booger etiquette! good job!


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    April 16, 2007

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    Thank you for addressing this serious hygenic problem. You have truly done us a great service...

    Very tasteful! Ugh. Sorry, I couldn't resist! Fun piece.


  • poetreeluvr
    April 16, 2007

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    I agree with the zaney. Very good instructions on how to take care of this problem. It is indeed a gross subject, but cute poem..thank you for the entry and good luck


  • JustSimplyLissa gold member
    April 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO! LOVE IT!!!! Hilarious! Haha I wrote one somewhat similar for a contest called Dirty Fingernails. HAHA! HILARIOUS! <3 it!


  • kamikage
    April 15, 2007

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    This one actually made me laugh. Is there a reason why each stanza is rhymed differently? Nice Job ^^


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    that was funny! great job! I didnt find it distasteful a little disgusting! but very funny! I definitely laughed my ass off after reading this piece! excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!



    -Steve


  • SpiceRack
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That was quite funny. I don't think you should change any of it. Zany is quite the word to use when describing this poem. =)


  • sheeprus
    April 15, 2007
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    Very Unique

    I have no constructive critism for your poem. I truely enjoyed it. I honestly can't believe someone would write about this. the only thing i can think of is on lines 17 and 22 you might want to spell out the numbers. However, besides that, I can't really think of any other comments regarding changing your poem.

    I really loved it.


  • Amethyst jean
    April 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    CRAZY!!!!!

    OMG this was soooo zaney, I can't believe that someone actually wrote about this!This was really entertaining!

    *Amy*

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