Unfathomable territory of those blue clouds
I have seen now a day.
My days and nights are going on this way.
Bluer than the cloud of spring,
Deeper than the Pacific Ocean,
Your eyes become the remedy of my pain.
I cry, I fear to lose you again
I promise, I beg, I. howl.
But you remain “Untouched” as always like the Sky.
"Untouched" you go far from me to rescue you form this epidemic soul.
Like rain I dripped, I bled, I cried.
But you remain still untouched.
Unfathomable! Always delighted in my pain.
A contest entry
- Your Very Best #3 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
330 points, ended April 20, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Tree of Love by Ladybug.
450 points, ended April 20, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thank You for your comment.
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wow
Very good write- "But you remain Untouched as always like the Sky"
That line is my favorite- so thoughtful and sad. The last verse is striking too.
painful yet
lovely
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Thank you I have changed this...thanks.
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I liked this. It was very sad. I like the title. The only thing is line 11. You have "Like rain I dripped, I bleed, I cried." Two of the words, dripped and cried, are in the past tense, but bleed is present. Did you mean that or did you mean bled? Pardon me; I'm a grammar freak sometimes.
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good analogy of nature, love and pain all together.
Tamara -
Your imagination is untameable, this was a great poem, I loved the line "Like rain I dripped, I bleed, I cried." it was very emotional, thanks for entering
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Thank you.
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A very good blend of the nature and human feelings. I like the poem and its title.
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Keep that imagination runnig. It is much sweeter than the moment you touch.The joy is in the journey of imagination..Is it not? I do not know.You have to find out for yourself. The effort to escape from this sweet pain is much sweeter than realising the dream.Very, Very...........good.
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Wow...Nice Title and very well written
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